Hi! Danger Guerrero from Warming Glow here. It’s Brandon’s birthday, so Burnsy and I are running the show today. GET PUMPED UP STAY PUMPED UP. One important With Leather-related question before I get started: wtf is a CM Punk? Is it a music store? Like a Sam Goody that only sells Blink 182 CDs? I bet that’s it.
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Lana Del Rey Was Impossibly Awful On SNL Last Night – I want to be nice here. I do. So instead of saying something mean like “Lana Del Rey’s performance was like a trainwreck where the train fell off a bridge and into the water and it later caused a shipwreck and everyone on the train and ship drowned and went to hell and a puppy saw it happen and cried,” I’ll just wish her better luck in the future. Keep your head up, kid. [UPROXX]
Tebowie Throws From Station To Station – Tim Tebow? Never heard of him. [With Leather]
Armond White Gets Asked About FilmDrunk – In which Armond White calls Vince “a little mole.” OO OO, DO ME NEXT! [Film Drunk]
Lollipop Chainsaw Has A Predictably Emo Villain, Cheerleader Upskirts – I thought really hard about clicking on this link to find out what in the holy hell “Lollipop Chainsaw” is, but I was pretty sure whatever it was would be a letdown. I mean, how could it not be? LOLLIPOP CHAINSAW. I think this is what they mean by “ignorance is bliss.” [Gamma Squad]
Best Guy Ever Alert – If I could grow facial hair like the guy in the picture at right, I would throw all my shaving supplies in the ocean. [@MichaelDavSmith]
Most Important Breaking News: Telemundo Still Awesome – If you only watch one video today where an attractive Telemundo weatherlady is the victim of a green screen prank so it looks like her head is attached to a dancing fat guy in a Speedo, make it this one, won’t you? [Warming Glow]
Kobe Bryant Unveils The #KobeSystem: Success For The Successful – The following things are true: 1) Kobe is a creep. 2) He almost definitely did badtimesex with that lady in Colorado. 3) This commercial is pretty cool. It’s what I would call “a low-level Michael Jackson situation.” [Smoking Section]
Drinking 3 Beers With No Hands In 37 Seconds – Cool. Now drink them with your hands at a normal pace like a goddamn adult. [Buzzfeed]
Victoria’s Secret’s ‘Angel Island’ Seems Like a Nice Place to Spend the Winter – Concur. [Brobible]
The 10 Least Successful Spin-Offs In TV History – I will never understand what Matt LeBlanc was thinking when he signed up for “Joey.” He was a multi-multi-millionaire by age 40 after “Friends.” I’d have been on Angel Island drinking boat drinks in the sun. Work is for the birds and poor people. [The FW]
Tila Tequila is converting to Judaism – Makes sense. She always struck me as someone who was really into the Old Testament. [FARK]
Five Ways “Star Trek” And Star Wars Are Better Than Each Other – I’m sure this particular link may appeal to many of you, and I wish you nothing but the best with your beakers and quadratic formulas and other assorted geekery. Please do not hack me. [Pajiba]
A Jawdropping Gallery of Fairytale Fantasies – What is this? Nerd day? I’m posting a Slayer song after the jump. [Unreality]
I want more like this!
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