Or, “Dude, yer gettin’ arrested for a hate crime”.
From the Detroit Free Press:
Detroit Tigers outfielder Delmon Young was arrested and faces a hate crime-related charge in connection with a dispute outside a hotel along New York’s 6th Avenue early this morning, a New York police spokesman told the Free Press.
“Basically, there was an incident at the hotel (and) some anti-Semitic remarks,” said Det. Joseph Cavitolo, who added that alcohol was involved.
Our exclusive, three-part report on this very serious matter is after the jump.
The Dugout
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Welcome to the New York 6th Avenue Chatroom!
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JewishMan: Excuse me, sir, have you ever noticed– |
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: AW HELL NAW |
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DudeYerGettinADelmon is now choking the hell out of a Jewish Man.
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The Dugout
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Welcome to the New York Police Department Chatroom!
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: naw naw see yall puttin words in my mouth |
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: why da f**k would i say i hate juice i luh dat shit juice is f**ken delicious |
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LadyCop: …and right here on the report it’s got a forward slash followed by “whips bat mitzvah” |
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: yee |
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LadyCop: I don’t think you know what that means. |
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: like a quinceanera but fa lil white bitches dont look at me like i ain know what a bat mitzvah be
i threw that shit right at em |
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LadyCop: So what exactly caused this attack? |
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: drank |
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LadyCop: and you attacked the man because he was Jewish? |
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: nah see, at ain righ |
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: yes i did choke the hell out of that man fa bein jewish an yee when i chokt his ass i screamt out ‘f**k u jew pig die up in a kike furnist with ya muf**in himy scrootch mcduck actin famly’ an all but that is just one statement i have said from my life |
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: ax anybody who know me i ain a racist |
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LadyCop: Excuse me, sir? |
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DuLoveBelow: Yes yes what is it |
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LadyCop: Would you say Delmon Young is racist? |
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DuLoveBelow: loooool |
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LadyCop: /glares at Delmon |
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: why doncha ax somebody who aint a bitchass whiteass bitchass white-assid muf**ka who dead fa real as soon as i figure out how ta tex gun pics /glares at Duane |
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DuLoveBelow: gulp |
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: lissen police bitch i aint racist i said n**ga at least 65 times taday an only 40-45 of em was negative |
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: jus because i say ‘i hate you fa bein a jew imma kill ya jew ass fa bein a honky jew lemme move at yammaka so i can stab ya in ya jew heart’ dont mean im antisemetic, the statement is antisemetic |
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: i just said the bad statement it had lil ta nothin ta do wit me |
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LadyCop: and you seriously believe that |
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: got ta |
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LadyCop: you know you’re really going to regret living your life like this when you’re dead, right? |
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: pfft like thatll eva happen |
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The Dugout
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** Online Host **
Welcome to the Heaven In 2051 Chatroom!
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SaintPeter: approach, child, for you are GRRKKKK /collapses |
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SaintPeter has been struck by a flying bat.
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: boom saint bitch |
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TheGreatIM: uhhhhh can I help you? |
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: lemme inta dat heaven, im died |
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TheGreatIM: Be at peace, Delmon, for it is I, the Son Of God. |
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: whoaaa how you know my name |
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TheGreatIM: i have the internet, what do you think i’m stupid
anyway, let Us check the Book Of Life and see if you are worthy to enter My kingdom… |
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TheGreatIM: okay well right here at the top it says “whipped a bat at Saint Peter” |
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: naw that ain soun like me |
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TheGreatIM: … and there’s a big section about how you got pissed at a Jewish guy on the street outside of a Hilton and screamed a bunch of anti-semitic slurs and got arrested? |
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: probly |
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TheGreatIM: Do you hate the Jews? |
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: hatin jew folk is just one thang i thought fa the entirty of my life, there are many things ive thunk and say excep fa that that point ta me bein not a awesome jew hater |
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TheGreatIM: You know I’m technically Jewish, right? |
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: bullshat jesus you ain jewish you got whiteass skin blondeass hair wearin sandals |
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TheGreatIM: I don’t think this is going to work out. We’re gonna cast you into purgatory and review your case. |
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** Online Host **
DudeYerGettinADelmon has been cast into the Purgatory Chatroom.
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: imma whoop jesus ass |
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SteakGrowsOnDmitri: delmon |
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: meat tree??? where you been n**ga |
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SteakGrowsOnDmitri: dead fa 38 years |
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: oh righ
so what you doin out here why ain you in heaven |
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SteakGrowsOnDmitri: thot that muf**ka said burgertory |
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