Apathy: The Miz Returns
I couldn’t give this a best or a worst because, honestly, I didn’t really care. You had to know that someone else was going to be in the second MITB match because even though the original four could carry the match, the WWE seems to always love adding new stipulations to matches. At least this time we didn’t find out via text message.
Worst: Underwhelming Championship Matches
I know that MITB matches are a tough act to follow. Expectations are high and anything else by comparison seems kind of blah. It’s like when I open up my workout mixes with Meatloaf’s “Paradise By the Dashboard Light.” Was it a bad match? No, but there was nothing special about it. At the very least they could have had Ricardo Rodriguez give Del Rio a good luck kiss on the cheek and then have him deftly avoid the Brogue kick. The wrestling was solid, although it did seem odd that the Irishman with a supposedly injured arm performed a lot of moves that required arm strength.
The way the WWE keeps pushing the fact that every MITB winner has won the title, you know that the next person to do so is going to lose. As Dolph Ziggler walked down the aisle, my heart sank a little thinking that the Zig Zag man was going to be the first. Then, part of me kind of wanted it to happen just to see all the rage and CAPSLOCK hatred that would come from it. Brandon would either have a brain aneurism or get arrested for shanking any pale red-headed men he found on the streets of Austin and I’d get to move up to the big leagues.
As an added bonus, it would catapult Sheamus to Cena levels of hatred where everyone under the age of ten would love him and buy all his merchandise and all the other fans would despise everything about him. I’m looking forward to seeing what extended metaphor Sheamus uses to describe Ziggler tonight.
See fella, Dolph here has a lot o’ dem fancy shirts. There are a lotta shirts out there. Ya have yer dress shirts, dinner shirts, V-cuts, polos and camisoles. Me, I’m just yer average flannel shirt. Nuttin’ special, but highly despised by all the folks on the internet.
Worst: The Tag Titles Mean Nothing
I don’t understand why the actual tag team title match gets put on the YouTube pre-show, but the number one contenders wrestling the same team for the 100th time with nothing on the line gets on the PPV. Much like Sex Panther cologne’s statistics, it doesn’t make sense. On the other hand, we did get to see an MITB edition of America’s Best Dance Crew between Rosa Mendes and the Prime Time Players. I’m sure all of you feel as enriched by that experience as I do.
Ever since the Prime Time Players won the shot at the titles, all they’ve done is lose their momentum. Plus, it seems odd that Epico and Primo are getting a bigger push than any time they actually held the titles. I would say this means I’m not looking forward to them facing Kofi and R-Truth, but then again….
Best: Mic’d Up AW
AW better be mic’d up for all the Prime Time Players matches from now on. Even the Sheamus Del Rio matchup would have been saved with a guy in the background yelling, “Get up brotha!” “Shut up Rosa!” and “That’s money! Millions of dollars!”
Another best goes to R-Truth for holding back Little Jimmy when they had their scuffle after the match was over. That’s commitment. It almost makes up for the terrible commentary by Kofi. Almost, but not quite.
Also, did anyone notice that Kofi seems incapable of not smiling? Even when he’s angry and talking trash, he’s still smiling ear to ear.
I want more like this!
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