As we already know, Brooklyn Nets forward Kris Humphries and
incredibly talented singer, songwriter, actress, diplomat, philanthropist, physician, neurosurgeon girl who appears on random episodes of Drop Dead Diva Kim Kardashian are working together to set the world record for the longest divorce hearing. Expected to last well into next May, the Humpdashian nuptial reversal has already cost Kardashian $250,000 in legal fees, representing $1 for every f*ck that I don’t give about her wealth.
Humphries, on the other hand, is turning the screws because 1) he wants to prove that Kris Jenner and Kardashian are full of sh*t by 2) putting reality TV on trial and 3) exposing them for raking in $17 million from the wedding TV and image rights, while 4) convincing the world that Kardashian never had any intention of staying married to him because she was busy falling in love with Kanye West.
Also, in between all of that nonsense, Humphries has claimed that he doesn’t believe in divorce because it violates his religious beliefs. That’s pretty funny now, too, because his parents are getting divorced. They could probably get divorced, re-marry, and divorce again and still beat their son to the finish line.
According to documents filed in Minnesota, Kris’ mom Debra filed for divorce from husband William earlier this month. The couple has three adult children — Kris and his two older sisters, Krystal and Kaela.
There will be some serious burger money up for grabs in the split — William owns several Five Guys Burgers and Fries restaurants throughout Minnesota.
It’s pretty ironic … Kris is fighting a divorce from Kim because he says it goes against his religious beliefs. Perhaps it’s time to take a cue from mom? (Via TMZ, which is apparently trading in ellipses for dashes)
In case you were wondering, if Humpdashian had stayed married, we would have been treated to a new version of Keeping Up with the Kardashians that would have included Kim, Khloe, Kourtney, Kris, Kaela, and Krystal. It may be taking two years and costing millions of dollars, but this divorce is the best for all of us.
I want more like this!
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