People are too hard on baseball. “Wahhhhh, shorten the season, 162 games is too long, my penis is too short,” people who hate baseball often say. Well to them I say that they might as well hate the smile of a child or the whiskers of a puppy. They may as well loathe the sunrise and detest the starry sky. And above all else they should just go ahead and cast Kate Upton’s giant breasts into the fiery lakes of hell, because baseball is still the greatest.
Thankfully, now we have two Wild Card spots in each league and that means more action down to the final day of the season.
Wednesday Night Baseball: Oakland Athletics at Detroit Tigers – 7 PM ET on ESPN
I don’t pay a lot of attention to the American League, so when I saw the A’s record the other day, I about pissed my leather pants. In fact, looking at this incredibly important matchup for the Tigers, I would have guessed that Detroit was 20-some-odd games above .500. Stupid Brad Pitt and his excellent general management skills.
NCAA Football: Kent State at Buffalo – 7 PM ET on ESPNU
Seeing as this game is the only college football action on TV tonight, I was going to complain that it deserves better than ESPNU, but then I looked at who was playing again and I checked to see what was on Comedy Central.
Wednesday Night Baseball: Texas Rangers at Los Angeles Angels – 10 PM ET on ESPN
Some writer I’ve never heard of basically called Josh Hamilton a pussy for taking himself out of last night’s game with a sinus headache. If Josh Hamilton is a pussy, I’m an ovary wearing a dress while singing No Doubt’s “Just a Girl” during karaoke night at Curves.
Women’s Soccer: USA vs. Australia – 10 PM ET on ESPN 2
This exhibition match is a part of the U.S. Women’s National Soccer Team’s “Fan Tribute Tour”, as they’re playing the Aussies in Colorado tonight. Exhibition soccer. Hooray.
NCAA Volleyball: UCLA at USC – 10 PM ET on ESPNU
I want more like this!
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