As I wrote yesterday, I’m a one-man Spring Break party this week, celebrating some of my favorite moments of debauchery and youthful indiscretions all this week. Today, we’re taking a trip all the way back to 2004, for a dance competition that gets a little out of control for one young couple.
Dayna had saved up almost three months of her part-time pay from the Piercing Pagoda to make sure that this was the craziest Spring Break of her life. The single mother of a 3-year old son, Dayna has never been able to enjoy a Spring Break, well, unless you count the weekend adventure in Cocoa Beach that led to little Sisqo’s conception. Fortunately, Dayna’s mom agreed to take her grandson in for a few days, since her boyfriend and Ratt cover band frontman, Trent, got locked up for selling Percocets to Deltona high schoolers again.
Dayna and her best friend Bev loaded up her ’89 Dodge Caravan and hit the road for Daytona Beach, where a room at the Desert Inn was screaming their names. They didn’t have a lot time to waste, so it was straight to Razzle’s for the world famous Thursday Night Throwdown dance competition that let lucky couples shake their groove thangs for a shot at $300, matching Corona thongs and a week’s worth of Billy Boy condoms.
There was just one problem – Dayna didn’t have a dance partner! Whatever would she do?
Fortunately, after her seventh Purple Nurple shooter, Bev remembered that she hadn’t taken her birth control pill yet, so she set off to find a guy to buy her a beer so she could down it. It was then that Dayna noticed a pair of Joe Boxers protruding from the white JNCO’s of a bronzed local known as Bizzy, whose black wifebeater tank top was being used as a pillow by his pregnant sister.
“Hey,” Dayna cooed at this young man. “Sup?” he responded, as he lifted a beer from the tub while the bikini-clad waitress adjusted her fakes. “I need a partner for the dance competition,” Dayna said, “You interested?” Bizzy lit a Newport and blew a snot rocket before responding, “Yeah girl, I freak.”
Dayna’s heart raced as Bizzy hip-thrusted a path for them from the tiki bar to the DJ booth, where the other couples were signing up. She had always dreamed of being a dancer, as she considered Jennifer Lopez to be her personal idol. And here she was, with this confident partner – sweat glistening from his paintball scars – about to realize her dream on a Daytona night club stage in front of several hundred people.
Once DJ ToXXXic started playing “Yeah!” by Usher and Lil Jon, Dayna knew it was her time. And Bizzy was more of a partner than she could have ever hoped for. That is, until he proved to be too much.
Where Are They Now: Dayna may have gotten back up on that stage to finish the competition, but it was too late. Another couple had won the thongs and condoms, and Dayna was left with nothing but three chipped teeth and eventually two stains on her favorite cutoffs. She did, however, fulfill her dream of dancing professionally, as she’s second string day shift at Café Risque in Micanopy, FL, just off the Turnpike.
I want more like this!
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