Best: Sami Zayn vs. El Aerógrafo
Hey look, El Local is back! I’m assuming he drove back to Mexico during his hiatus and bought a bunch of over-the-counter fat burners.
Unsurprisingly, this week’s Chikara alum math was good, but dreadfully short. The Hulu clip is almost the entire match, and Zayn didn’t even need his tornado DDT to finish it off. I want to see a big 15 minute match between these guys, but I understand how illogical that’d be after Zayn’s wrestled Raw guys for the last month. It’s like John Cena wrestling Heath Slater. I WANT it to be long and great, but it makes more sense if Slater does his guitar dick taunt and gets STF’d in 40 seconds.
I do wish El Local had reappeared with a bunch of airbrushing on his gear and never explained it.
Best: Bo Dallas Is Evil And Bad At Planning
Bo Dallas gets a Best for being the smarmiest, most detached guy in pro wrestling, but he gets a Worst for his evil planning skills. Here’s his idea: he’s afraid of Sami Zayn getting a title shot, so he’s organizing a “Bo Dallas Invitational,” wherein all superstars who aren’t Sami are invited to compete for a shot at the NXT Championship. You … you know this isn’t going to end well for you, right Bo? Like … what’s your end game? Couldn’t you just be like, “I’m giving COREY GRAVES a title shot!” and skipped the middleman? This is pro wrestling. The middleman is always, always going to get you in trouble. Plus, you could probably bulldog the shit out of Corey Graves in like four minutes.
It might be more insulting that way, too. Be all, “Sami Zayn, you haven’t earned a title shot yet, so I’m gonna give it to someone who has, like CJ Parker.” I think “you’re worse than the worst guy” is way more insulting than “I’m not gonna acknowledge how obviously great you are.”
Best: Welcome Back, Fatso!
Speaking of guys who got back from foreign countries with fat burners, KASSIUS OHNO makes his triumphant return to the program by ALSO going to the guy who isn’t the NXT GM and demanding an NXT match. NXT desperately needs babyfaces with credibility who AREN’T Sami Zayn, and Kassius Ohno may be the only other one right now. He needs to get back in the ring and start kicking ass again immediately, whether WWE thinks he should wear a tanktop while he does it or not. Weirdos.
Worst: Proportionately This Is The Same Amount Of Time Triple H Gets On Raw
Triple H showing up and speaking for five minutes doesn’t seem like a big deal, but think of it this way. On a 3-hour Raw, a Triple H show-ending speech lasts about 15 minutes, give or take. That averages out to 5 minutes per hour. NXT is an hour long, and Triple H spoke for 5 minutes. Math, and then my head on the desk because Triple H is talking.
Best/Worst: Goodbye Dusty, Hello Justy
Triple H announces that Dusty Rhodes has been removed as the GM of NXT, which I guess retroactively explains Brad Maddox as the interim GM, but then he immediately brings out JBL as the NEW boss, so … not.
I’m giving this a Best for a couple of reasons. One, it furthers the beef between the McMahons and the Rhodes Family, which is the storyline I care most about in pro wrestling right now. Two, maybe there’s a chance of Goldust showing back up on NXT without having to marry Aksana. Three, I will miss Dusty’s contributions to the show but welcome JBL’s, because he’s been here for five minutes and already insulted the Rhodes family so egregiously I can’t even transcribe it without wanting to punch him in the face. Four, maybe JBL is the new final boss of NXT? Tyler Breeze is gonna pin Regal only for JBL to rise up out of the background like the Necron.
The only Worst comes from the fact that of all the shows in the world, NXT is the one that needs an evil GM character the least. I am okay with Zayn feuding with Bo, I don’t need somebody more famous than both of them showing up to demand they both do things.
Best: Next Week – Fandango Returns To NXT
If he can’t have a good match here and now, and he can’t do it anywhere. Good luck, Poopsie.
I want more like this!
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