Best: The Pathos Of Cody Rhodes
The obvious high point of the show for me was the self-contained saga of Cody Rhodes, who dared to question authority based on the fact that he spent roughly 6 straight years losing to its corporate champion 4-8 times a day and got put into a match against THAT VERY MAN with his VERY CAREER on the line.
Cody is probably the easiest guy in the world to cheer for right now. Aside from some iffy motivations and actions in the Sandow feud, he’s a young, handsome guy who is great at wrestling, has gotten worlds better on the microphone, shows more personality in his body language than most Mizzes show screaming from the center of a talk show set and shoot comes from the shoot coolest wrestling family in wrestling. He spent his entire heel run either being portrayed as the “future of WWE” (in Legacy), as the best looking person on the roster (as Dashing Cody Rhodes), as an hilarious Mr. Sinister with bag handlers and a CLEAR MASK with RAPTOR VOICE (as … other Dashing Cody Rhodes) or as an affable, mustachioed best friend (in Rhodes Scholars). The worst thing he’s done is be a jerk to people who, if you listen to me, deserved it.
So yeah, when he gets put into a match against Evil Orton and starts taking it to another level because he is EMOTIONALLY DRIVEN~ by the ridiculous stipulation, you’re gonna cheer your ass off for him. The crowd was mostly asinine, chanting for cosplayers in the front row, but even they got their shit together eventually and thoroughly chanted “Co-dy Rhodes.” The match itself was great, with Rhodes showing how well he knows Orton and Orton knowing he can beat Cody with his eyes closed, so he just snakes around taking everything Cody’s got, waiting for him to get frustrated and slip up, then shitting in his bag, so to speak.
Again, my only complaint about Orton’s in-ring stuff is that he’s still being a babyface when it’s time to do the RKO. The walking around in a circle pumping up the crowd, the “hunting” taunt, the move itself, all of it. When he was firing up the crowd I thought for sure he was just gonna kneel down and lock in a chinlock, but nope. When it was time for him to actually win the match he just pulled Cody up and dropped him with a quick RKO, which was nice, and I hope he does more of that and less of the wacky animation.
Best: The McMahons Vs. The Rhodes
This segment. This one right here. God damn.
If anything was gonna make Cody a for-real guy we could love and respect, this was the beginning of it. There’s so much to love here. The passion in his eyes and voice when he talks about how his family’s been treated by the McMahons is legit, and I love it, because he’s absolutely right. They DID take one of the best wrestlers ever and put him in some stupid polka dots, because personal vendettas were more important than making money. They DID take that guy’s son, a legit superstar athlete, and turn him into a painted-up, movie quoting sexual deviant. And yep, they took Cody Rhodes away from his dream right before it really came true. God knows how many times they’ve done that.
But the thing to remember, Cody, is that you are a RHODES, and there’s one thing that combines those stories. When they put Dusty in polka dots, he got over. People still loved him. The polka dots couldn’t erase that. When they put Dustin in gold paint and made him a gay joke for Piper and Ahmed Johnson, Dustin took it, turned it into a character that pioneered the attitude of the most popular era in the company’s history and made it legendary. He’s still turning dudes into stars across the country. He’s the reason Sheamus is worth a shit right now. And like his dad and his brother, Cody will come back and own whatever horrible thing they give him — bags, plastic masks, Zelda boots, Bob Holly, whatever — and he’ll thrive. Maybe he’ll even start owning the lisp. Because he’s a Rhodes.
And because I want that Cody/Dusty/Dustin team at Survivor Series more than anything in the world.
Worst: Cody’s Wife Is The New Randy’s Escalade
My only problem with the segment (or the angle in general) is how quick it all was. Remember last week when Randy Orton had a car defaced by Daniel Bryan, and how he acted like it was the worst thing that’d ever happened to him even though he’d owned the car for like 40 minutes? Cody Rhodes being a devoted family man who needs to provide for his upcoming wife is this week’s Randy’s Escalade.
How long ago was Cody making “I mustache you a question” jokes to Kaitlyn and making her snort-giggle? It wasn’t that long ago. But WWE needs added drama now, so Cody’s got a fiancé and I guess she doesn’t work or do anything so he’s gotta wrestle to PROVIDE for her. Imagine how much that match would’ve meant if we’d known who she was for a long time, and stuff actually mattered?
Reminder: Cody’s fiancé is legitimately the most beautiful possible woman.
Best: That One Security Guy Making Sure The Door Closed Thoroughly
hahaha, thanks dude
Worst: None Of This Is Disproving AJ’s Point
Last week, AJ Lee verbally dressed-down the Divas division (including Eva Marie, who already wasn’t wearing a lot) and declared them horrible wrestlers and interchangeable, worthless wastes of time. There was a moment when you thought that was actually gonna go somewhere cool — maybe an AJ/Kaitlyn/Paige/Emma squad joining forces to dismantle the Total Divas and whatever Total Diva dreadnoughts (Sasha Banks, Summer Rae) are hanging out in NXT — but nope, here’s Natalya, Naomi and Brie Bella doing the crummiest Samoa Joe/AJ Styles/Christopher Daniels match you’ve ever seen for like 40 seconds before AJ illogically jumps them to prevent them from getting a shot at the belt (even though she can easily defeat all of them), ends up with three championship challengers instead of one, and gets beaten up by everybody, because now they’re friends all of a sudden.
The lesson, I guess, is that AJ only insulted the pretty girls because she’s jealous, and now she’s jealous AND scared of them. Welcome to the life of Natalya, AJ.
Best/Worst: WWE App “Exclusives” Immediately Being Shown On Raw
I love this so much. WWE provides a condescending video about how to push buttons on your phone and download the WWE app, plays things of importance on the app as “exclusives” (like Fandango getting his nose broken, or Stephanie making the Night of Champions Divas match a fatal fourway), then IMMEDIATELY PLAY THEM ON RAW.
Do you not know what the word “exclusive” means? If it’s exclusive to the app, it should only be ON the app. Don’t SHOW it to us. TELL us that it’s on the app, and that we have to go download the app if we want to see it. How is your company worth billions of dollars, guys? Did you luck into it? Is this why you advertise things like “an exclusive interview with CM Punk,” like f*cking Ring of Honor’s gonna call him up and get his thoughts Paul Heyman?
I want more like this!
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