Schwetty Balls: $19.34
Hey, remember that Saturday Night Live sketch with that dude from that one movie where he’s like, “I AM GOD!!!”? The one where he’s like, “Hey, my balls are schwetty” but his name is actually Schwetty and he’s talking about his desserts or something? F*ckin’ word play, son. Well now you can tell that joke like it’s your own with golf balls that have “Schwetty” printed on them. And bros, they even have L and R on them because you have left and right balls. Get it?
Potty Putter Toilet Time Golf Game: $17.98
Don’t have enough time to hit the links? Practice your putting while you’re taking a dump. And it’s just like actual putting, from the way you crouch like you’re disposing of waste to the way you’re actually disposing of waste. Talk about getting a leg up while you drop the kids off.
The Pop-a-Putt Golf Prank: $12.95
A hilarious thing to do is to go out to a golf course and put one of these in a hole and then hide in the bushes. Eventually some old bro will be putting for a birdie and his ball will go in the hole, but then it will pop out and he’ll be like, “What the f*ck, man?” and you’ll jump out and throw a pee balloon at him. Oh, and make sure someone is recording it, because otherwise it’s just assault for no reason.
Nuddie Naked Lady Golf Tees: $14.95
Hey, remember those tees of the lady’s ass sticking up? This blows them away, because these are just straight up naked ladies. And on top of that, with these you can make an awesome joke like, “They’re the perfect woman because they don’t talk” before you go home to your hollow, meaningless marriage to your wife who is sleeping with the lawn guy.
I want more like this!
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