Worst: So How Many Matches Are In This Cass/Enzo vs. Rusev/Dawson Best-Of Series
I’m so tired of watching Enzo Amore and Colin Cassidy wrestle Sylvester LeFort’s team that I can’t even give a Best to EnCo’s pre-match speech, which involved them singing the theme to ‘Cheers.’
One of my least favorite things about modern wrestling feuds is how people who have an issue with each other can only wrestle each other. Back in the day if Ric Flair and Dusty Rhodes had a beef, they’d wrestle normal matches against unrelated people en ROUTE to their big showdown … they’d build interest based on stories and statements. Nowadays they’d develop a beef, wrestle in the same night, wrestle on the next show, wrestle on the next show and then have a pay-per-view match that didn’t end definitively so they’d start over. It’s obnoxious and makes me tired of watching wrestling. I feel like I’m just watching reruns for three months.
It’s also not fair to the wrestlers, especially wrestlers in development, because unless Enzo Amore’s prospective WWE career is “lose to Alexander Rusev every week,” what exactly is he learning? It wouldn’t kill you do to Enzo vs. Zayn one week randomly because, you know, wrestling is supposed to be a sport and a job. The Red Sox play the Astros sometimes, guys, they don’t just play the Yankees 162 games a season.
Best: So Many Bests
Sami Zayn did a quick backstage interview with Renee Young about how happy he is to be the number one contender, and good God I enjoyed this. Let me give you a quick rundown of Bests, because there are too many:
1. Sami Zayn continues to be WWE’s most reasonable and likable babyface, expressing sincere joy that his INCEPTION PLOT to briefly cover his face and win the number one contendership by doing so worked out. Plus, he’s wearing a Rancid shirt.
2. Bo Dallas is SHIT OUTTA PLANS and shows up to whimper about how badly his feelings were hurt and offer a second option: he and Sami team up and go after the tag team championships so he doesn’t have to defend his belt. Bo as a coward who won the belt off a guy who won’t be around anymore and though he was in the clear but is terrified of an irresistible force coming his way is amazing, especially since Bo’s read of every line is “betrayed 3-year old girl.”
3. Bo yelling UN-BO-LIEVABLE at what’s transpired. He’s hurt, but he’s so into name wordplay that he’s just doing it naturally. <3
4. Renee Young's face. It's a nice face, but it also possesses the ability to perfectly encapsulate what it's looking at. For example, here's Renee's face telling you everything you need to know about Bo Dallas.
Best in the world.
Worst: The CM Punk “Best Since Day One” Commercial
Speaking of Best In The World (I am such a good writer!), the commercials for Punk’s new BEST SINCE DAY ONE shirt really bother me. The idea is that it feature all of Punk’s shirts up until this point, you know, to suggest that he’s been in the Best in the World since he showed up. The problem is that they start with the Money in the Bank shirt, the white Best in the World one, and work their way up.
That’s not “day one” of anything. It’s not day one of him calling himself the Best in the World, unless you wanna include that Stone Cold Steve Austin shirt in the commercial. It’s not day one of his title reign, because he doesn’t HAVE the title anymore, unless you want the shirt to say BEST DURING DAYS ONE THROUGH DAY 434. It’s not day one of his WWE run. THIS is day one of his WWE run:
And that’s not accurate when you show it during an episode of NXT, the only WWE thing that regularly admits a developmental system exists. Was Punk not the Best in the World from that day in OVW when he wrestled Danny Inferno? I’ve seen Punk’s DVD, I know you guys have the footage to make that commercial really cool.
Worst: See That Chinlock? That’s The Only Offense Aiden English Got
The main event was Rob Van Dam more or less squashing Aiden English. That’s fine. Aiden’s only been “around” for a few weeks, and as much as I love his songs about being a sports entertainer in the 21st century and his Dudley Do-Right voice, I wouldn’t expect him to beat a 17-year popular veteran. If Zayn can’t beat Cesaro in the blowoff and Ohno can’t beat Regal, of course the Digivolved Marion Fontaine isn’t gonna beat RVD.
I’m just sad that The Shield and the Wyatt Family are both out of NXT now and the match just ended with a frog splash and posing instead of RVD’s head on a spike, but eh, what can you do.
I want more like this!
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