Best: Principal Owners!
Previously on WWE: Punching.
The chain of command just got a little deeper at Titan Towers (do they still call it that outside of my heart?), because Stephanie McMahon is now a PRINCIPAL OWNER of the WWE. That sounds like something a snobby rich bully would say in an 80’s ski movie: “Do you know who my father is, Reynolds?! He’s a Principal Owner of this mountain! Now you and your little Chinese friend can beat it!” Why can’t there just be one dude in charge, and they just call him New Jack Tunney? Hell, just let it be New Jack dressed as Jack Tunney.
That said, Stephanie is a great bad guy, and she is not thrilled that last night, Battleground was compromised (to a permanent end), and she wants Big Show out here NOW. Do I love the angle? No, but I don’t hate it, and Stephanie is a terrible enough human being to keep it entertaining. I’ve worked for this woman- the kind of soulless suit that shrieks “CRYYYYYYY” at you like Scut Farkus from A Christmas Story while they fork kale off of their plate like a raptor that just learned to use a fork. And I hate her.
And as much as we want Big Show to just pull the place apart when he’s fired, we don’t get what we want. Not yet. Someone backstage has been watching a lot of hour long dramas, and they’re finally realizing that there needs to be some build between points A and B. It’s not Game of Thrones yet, but Stephanie “My First Firing” McMahon is a hell of a Cersei Lannister.
So, say goodbye to your job, Show. Because it worked great with the Rhodes Family.
Best: The Pushbusters
I didn’t see Battleground, so while I’m assuming this was a repeat of their preshow match, I dug Dolph Ziggler vs. Damien Sandow, holder of the Money in the Bank w/Almonds briefcase.
Poor Damien. It’s not his fault we don’t care about that briefcase. The World Heavyweight Championship is worthless. It’s like being hired for your dream job, but then being told that you won’t be paid and that you have to stay in the parking lot. It’s time to do some WWE/WHC unifying and let these guys tear it down for the midcard titles. /message board rant
The announce booth is starting to hit late 90’s WCW levels of ‘ignore the match and talk about the NWO’ arguing about Stephanie and Big Show. Guys, our intellectual savior is beating our favorite wrestler to death in the ring. Talk about it please. Though, line of the night credit has to go to JBL for this gem: “Michael, there are levels of boss in every organization.”
Please explain these levels of boss, John.
Love Dolph’s win here- he was outclassed by Sandow’s aggression (does that make him outagressed?) so he had to wrestle smart and pick his spots for the win.
Worst: Are we being spoiled?
We’re getting fed main event and PPV level matches on TV so often by WWE that the PPVs now seem like glorified Raws. Matches have to hit impossible standards to get any love, and it makes me miss the old days, when Raw was a few Steiner squash matches, a promo or three, and then Doink and Jannetty would have a 2/3 falls classic. That Ziggler/Sandow could have been a great main event, and WHO KNOWS what hilarious stuff Rob Bartlett could have said about them. Maybe it’s time to start scaling back?
Best: A Lannister Always Pays Their Debts
Cersei Lannister is pissed. Not only did good guys win- the PPV feed cut out and even that is Brad’s fault.
Brad Maddox is totally Lancel Lannister. He’s Cersei McMahon’s gimpy little booty call/bullet shield while Triple H is off fixing everything. How exactly is Hunter out fixing kayfabe wrestling things? Is he having a round table discussion on the Observer forums? “Well Hunter, in my e-fed we tried it like this…”
Worst: Respect. There’s an app for that.
Bruno Sammartino is on Raw and you wheel him out for a commercial break? And you can’t even have Rosa walk him out? Classy.
I want more like this!
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