So… what’s the deal with Trent Richardson? Remember back when he was at the University of Alabama and he was one of the greatest young running backs that we’d ever seen? Those were fun times. Hell, even last year he fooled us into thinking he was on the verge of fantasy GOD status with his 11 touchdowns and 900 rushing yards, which is pretty impressive for a rookie in Cleveland. But then the Browns suddenly traded him to the Colts and I, and many others, scoffed at such a notion.
Except now the Browns front office looks like a pack of wild geniuses for salvaging any first round pick out of his seeming fantasy football worthlessness. He’s failed to top 100 yards at any point this season, and he’s only rushed for 60 yards once. I’m a huge opponent of the idea of settling for whatever you can get for a first round bust, especially this early in the season, but I think it’s time to move T-Rich and move on.
You Probably Lost If You Played Against: Matt Forte
For the first time in a long time, Matt Forte looked like an actual, honest-to-gosh three down back with no goal line vulture’s shadow to stand in. I’ve always thought Forte should be a star in the NFL, ever since watching him at Tulane, and now he may actually finally have the chance with Jay Cutler’s unfortunate injury. But 3 TDs a week? I wouldn’t bet J-Cutty’s Hooters wings on it.
The QBs that Broke Our Hearts: Jay Cutler, Nick Foles, Tom Brady
This was actually a surprisingly decent-to-strong week for QBs. I could have included the guys who scored in the teens, but I’m trying to be a little more positive this week, despite the fact that I went 0-3 after consecutive 3-0 weeks. It’s heartbreaking to be reminded that I’m mortal like you suckers. Two QB performances of note: 1) Even though he didn’t suck by any means, Peyton Manning losing to the Colts is phenomenal for fantasy owners, because he’s going to go berserker these next few weeks; 2) Matt Ryan’s 3 TDs must have made quite a few people remove the nooses.
Hell, I’ll throw a third point in: 3) Colin Kaepernick actually rushing the ball made me squeal with delight. Seriously, here’s me two weeks ago:
Now just get Michael Crabtree and Mario Manningham back from the IR and put the complete package together, Kaep.
The RBs that Broke Our Hearts: Arian Foster, CJ Spiller, Trent Richardson, Adrian Peterson, Doug Martin, Ray Rice, LeSean McCoy, Alfred Morris
Jesus, look at that group. That’s 2/3 of most leagues’ first round picks. As I’ve already touched on the frustrations of Richardson, you can apply that entire train of thought to CJ Spiller and Ray Rice as well. Spiller more than anyone, because if you simply watch him run the ball, you know that he’s not healthy. But a special shout out to Fred Jackson for his acting performance against the Dolphins, when he made everyone believe that his knee exploded, only to get back up and dominate. That might have been the biggest Spiller cock tease of the season. Well, behind Doug Marrone saying that Spiller would get 30 carries a game.
My own little horror story from this weekend/season: In my auction league, I purchased Doug Martin, DeMarco Murray and David Wilson as my three RBs. Preseason, that was pretty solid to me. I knew I was taking chances on the latter two, but I paid less for Martin than anyone paid for the elite RBs, so I was confident. Obviously, I lost Wilson and Murray in the last two weeks, so I traded Pierre Garcon for CJ Spiller (I thought this was a great deal despite losing Julio Jones, too) and Antonio Gates for DeAngelo Williams. Why the second move? 1) Because I have Vernon Davis, too, and also Keenan Allen, so Gates was expendable; 2) I had this feeling about Martin. My gut told me that Murphy’s Law was in full effect. I hate when my gut is right.
Feels good to get that off my chest.
The WRs that Broke Our Hearts: Larry Fitzgerald, Hakeem Nicks, TY Hilton, DeSean Jackson, Josh Gordon, Pierre Garcon, Justin Blackmon, Antonio Brown, Reggie Wayne, Victor Cruz, Brandon Marshall, Mike Wallace
This was a pretty depressing week with injuries abound at every position, but it’s especially terrible seeing Reggie Wayne go down for the season. I’ve really admired him for sticking with the Colts and helping Andrew Luck grow into a top tier QB, so to see him injured like this is saddening. At second place on my Fresh Batch of Frownies list is the continuing demise of Larry Fitzgerald at the hands of the entire Arizona Cardinals organization. Please, not because I will endless hate the Arizona Cardinals and the Bidwell family for leaving St. Louis, but because I am a football fan who appreciates the incredible talents of Fitzgerald – TRADE HIM NOW! Send this man to a contender so he can taste Super Bowl victory just once in his career.
The Year of the Tight End Gets Some Fresh Blood
This was a rather tame week for the tight end spot, but some new faces emerging as stars helped that. For starters, it was great to see Rob Gronkowski back, especially since I drafted him in the fourth round in one league and have been losing sleep over his return. Just kidding! I picked up Julius Thomas in the preseason and have just been waiting for the rich to get richer.
But the big star of the week was Washington Redskins TE Jordan Reed, who I’d been watching all season and failed to pick up, despite the fact that I watch football each Sunday with a group of Redskins fans and all they do is rave about this guy. He looks a little fragile at times, but he’ll be a star.
As always, share your horror stories below and let’s help each other cope with the failures of millionaires who don’t care about us at all.
I want more like this!
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