Best: Can We Just Start Calling Camacho ‘Rosa Man-des’
Poor Tongan-ass Camacho, having to be the YEAH, WHAT HE SAID guy in the background of Hunico promos. With his basic knowledge of Spanish, I move that we officially change the “LOL Camacho” joke to calling him Rosa Man-des, in tribute to Rosa’s VAMANOS! style of Hispanic legitimacy. Hunico says something lengthy in Spanish and then Camacho just leans in and goes “TODOS!” and blinks a bunch until Hunico starts speaking again. Love it. They should make Camacho Russian and have him pipe in during the pauses of Lana promos.
Worst: Alex Riley, A Total Piece Of Shit
I made the mistake of complimenting Alex Riley in an NXT column and look what happens to me.
He starts off the main-event of the show by being Missi Pyle from Josie and the Pussycats hearing Mr. Moviephone in Mega Records’ subliminal messages. Holy shit that’s a wordy reference. Anyway, he IMMEDIATELY is like “hey Renee, you sat next to Bo Dallas last week, right? THAT MEANS YOU F*CKED HIM, RIGHT, C’MON YOU SLUT, TELL US ABOUT IT.” It was AWFUL. The most Bro’d out Riley’s been in a while. Renee plays along because she is a professional, bless her heart, but he just keeps on her about who she thinks looks better and ughhh f*ck you, Alex Riley. They should put a white cowboy hat on him and call him El Hijo del JBL. WHICH ONE’A 3MB WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE SEX WITH, MAGGLE, ANSWER ME NOW OR WE AIN’T TALKIN ABOUT NOTHIN ELSE
And while we’re talking about announcer and JBL, everybody INCLUDING Renee needs to can it with the twerking references. Jesus Christ.
Best: Bo Dallas Loses And Still Wins
The quick version of last week’s report is “Adrian Neville is pretty good still when he gets to just be PAC, and doesn’t have to worry about Corey Graves’ dead weight ass dragging him down.” Neville/Zayn was spectacularly good and a perfect little time capsule of what made 2007-2008ish independent wrestling great. Lots of great nearfalls but not too many, with Neville’s cartwheel into a blue thunder bomb being the highlight. Probably my third favorite NXT match of the year, behind the 2-out-of-3 falls match Zayn had with Cesaro and the secretly better-than-that follow-up with Swagger.
This week’s match wasn’t that, but it served its purpose. Neville got to look like a guy who could clearly kick Bo Dallas in the ass if he got the opportunity, but allowed his devil-may-care enthusiasm to cost him the match, leveling Bo with a crossbody to the floor that legitimately looked like it could’ve knocked somebody out. Sick body-to-body contact instead of that “let me gently stop you with my arms” stuff that normally happens. Bo totally could’ve gotten back into the ring on time but didn’t, taking a probably-on-purpose count-out loss without Fandango’ing it and just bailing.
I also really liked the turnbuckle pad coming off, which can now serve as an indicator of the finish or a red herring in every Bo championship match. Good stuff. The belt really needs to stay on Bo as long as possible before Sami boots him to oblivion again and wins it for real. And hey, make Neville the first challenger.
I want more like this!
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