Free agent ace Roy Halladay announced his retirement today at the age of 36, as he signed a one-day contract with the Toronto Blue Jays so he could end his stellar career with the team that he began it with. Halladay ends his career with 203 wins and two Cy Young awards, but his most memorable moment was probably his perfect game on May 29, 2010, which was kind of a dick move on his part, if you ask me, because that’s my birthday, so people were all, “Hey, did you see Doc’s perfect game?” and I was like, “No, I was too busy watching you forget my birthday, mom.”
Monday Night Football: Cowboys at Bears – 8:25 PM ET on ESPN
Yesterday, my friend told me that he thinks that Jon Gruden is the best Monday Night Football announcer ever, and as he said it, I just sort of stared off into the distance as the words, “HOOTERS BURGER HOOTERS BURGER HOOTERS BURGER” echoed in my brain. But it reminded me that we don’t talk about Rush Limbaugh’s sports broadcaster stint enough, and I think we should bring it up at least once a season as a reminder that most people who are paid to have opinions for a living are full of crap.
WWE Monday Night Raw – 8 PM ET on USA
Tonight is the 2013 Slammy Awards. I hope I win Best Total Divas Recapper.
NHL: Blue Jackets at Penguins – 7:30 PM ET on NBC Sports
Can you imagine if a Blue Jacket actually fought a penguin? It wouldn’t be very fair, if you ask me.
Bryant at Notre Dame – 7 PM ET on ESPNU
Manchester at Butler – 8 PM ET on FS1
Snooze fest. Tune into the Slammy Awards instead and see if Brandon wins for Biggest Corey Graves Fan. Fingers crossed!
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