Worst: The NXT Divas Battle Royal, Or
Best: The Nexus Point
The main-event rookies battle royal is one of those horrible WWE battle royals where everybody’s in the ring at once and people start getting eliminated as soon as the bell ring, one after another until you’re down to the final two and it’s been like two minutes. This is also known as the Divas battle royal, where you’re all, “hey, people came to SEE Alicia Fox, they don’t want to see her actually do anything. Let her grab some hair for 10 seconds and shitcan her.” It’s not great, especially when you’re trying to get these kids over as characters and individuals.
The GOOD part of it, though, is the very beginning. Maybe the most important thing that happens all season.
Wade Barrett got a big opportunity in the Pros 4-on-4 and the other rookies are mad about it, so they gang up on him and dump him as soon as the match starts. Barrett’s upset, but here and exactly right here is when the big idea occurs: individually the NXT rookies are dinky jobbers, but what happens when they join forces? They’re unstoppable. What could Wade Barrett do to not only protect himself against the inevitability of Pro undermining, but also ensure that the seven other guys are protected too?
You’re either Nexus or you’re against us. A lightbulb. Love it.
Worst: You Know Things Aren’t Going Well For You When You’re Eliminated During The Commercial Break
After Wade’s elimination we go to commercial, and when we come back the announcers are all “lol oh yeah during the break these shitbirds were eliminated.” Skip Sheffield and Darren Young didn’t survive a COMMERCIAL BREAK in a pre-app era when the show is still 20% WrestleMania commercials. That’s gotta be disheartening. How are these poor guys supposed to make us like them? “You lost when I couldn’t see it, I like you THE MOST.”
Worst: David Otunga, Raw Guest Host
It’s down to Otunga and Justin Gabriel after almost 40 seconds of intense battle royal action, and they fart around for a few minutes before Otunga tosses him and wins the match. The bonus gift for the match is that you get to be the special guest host of Monday Night Raw, an honor and position shared by Mini Me, the guy who played Napoleon Dynamite and Jewel’s rodeo boyfriend. Otunga promises that the show will have “A-list stamped all over it” and demands 427 green M&Ms as part of his rider.
In case you don’t remember that episode (April 5, 2010) it featured:
- A WWE Divas Title #1 Contendership Battle Royal (no, I’m not kidding)
- Batista complaining about how he wants the championship (also not kidding)
- TWO Miz/Big Show tag team matches
- The new World Heavyweight Champion losing a non-title match to Randy Orton less than 24 hours after winning it
- David Otunga making himself John Cena’s partner in a tag championship match, then betraying Cena and not winning on purpose
Oh, and about those M&Ms …
I want more like this!
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