Or in the lady beater's words, "She told me not to shart in ur mouth, wanted me to sh*t right on the retina." SUCH A CHARMER.

The one certainty here: Rihanna is probably trolling all of us.

When you stop and think about it, Chris Brown dressing up as a terrorist for Halloween is kind of perfect. We're all his hostages, after all.

*Sigh* This comes from a CNN iReport: At the most resent Pep Rally for Waverly High School, located in Waverly NY.

"Is there such [a] thing as loving two people? I don't know. I don't know if that's possible, but, for me I just, I feel like that. You know?" Nope.

Awful neck-tattooed comic book villain Chris Brown has a new album out, in case you didn't know, and some anonymous hero in the UK is going around slapping a warning label on the CD version of the album.

The best images from the "celebrity neck tattoos" meme, in honor of Chris Brown's new Rihanna, but totally not Rihanna ink.

Naturally, when news broke about Chris Brown's new neck tattoo earlier today there were plenty of LOLs to be found on Twitter, as is usually the case when dumb celebrities do dumb things. Here are a few of my favorite tweets in response to Brown unveiling his hideous tattoo.

Chris Brown to himself: "You know, that space on my neck could really use some filling in. I should get a tattoo of a beaten woman there!"