Palm scanners = mark of the Beast?! Facepalm Jesus wishes he'd never brought the ministry to you people.

Recently we told you that the twisted "Christians" from Westboro Baptist Church were planning to protest a Foo Fighters show in Kansas City.

Seeing as how the only thing besides the death of Randy Savage on the Internet's mind today is the Rapture, I thought I'd share a little personal story with y'all.

So all this time we've been thinking that the rapture was supposed to go down at 6pm tomorrow.

For generations, Jesus freaks have been claiming that the second coming of Christ was just around the corner -- based on their own creative interpretations of the bible, known in some circles as delusion -- a time in which believers would be swept away on the Lord's chariot during the Rapture, whisked off into the clouds to live forever to a soundtrack of harp music with their arrogant, petty, insecure God.

"Jesus got the gym and tan.

"Is this a holy image.

Earlier this month, "60 Minutes" notably landed the first interview of Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger and the crew of US Airways Flight 1549.