In a case of life imitating Syfy, here is a video of a terrifying shark feeding frenzy just off the Jersey Shore. No thank you very much.

Gather 'round, kiddies, it's time for a story.

Why would you waste your time and money watching $100 million special effects; an all-star, A-list cast; Scarlett Johansson's boobs in motion; and an abundance of Hulk Smash when you can see a movie with twelve dollar special effects, the old guy from "The Sopranos"; the fat guy from 'N Sync; fake Jersey boobs in motion; and, um, sharks.