Hey, we haven't checked in on this rolling disaster in a while, how's it been doing.

Last week, we reported on the reopening of Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark, the Broadway musical that's tortured actors and audiences alike.

There hasn't been much to say about the now-legendary Broadway train wreck SPIDER-MAN Turn Off The Dark for the last month.

With all the injuries on the set of the Spider-Man musical, Spider-Man: Off With The Darkness And The Injuries To The Actors With The Ouch And The Flavin, we're a little surprised one of the eighty-four Law & Order spin-offs hasn't filmed a "ripped from the headlines" episode about it already.

You may have already heard a new scriptwriter and a new director were hired for Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark, and you may have read about Julie Taymor comparing the musical to that time she almost died in a volcano.

There's been so much written about the horribleness of Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark that it's kind of hard to write anything new.

"Spider-Man: Illuminate The Darkness Or Whatever" doesn't officially open until March 15th (or at least that's what they said the fifth time they delayed the opening), but most of the major critics published their reviews yesterday (which was supposed to be the debut prior to the most recent delay).

Since the official opening of musical debacle Spider-Man: It's Dark In This Orchestra Pit has been pushed back (again) to February 7th for rewrites, the spokesman for the play (Rick Miramontez) has announced that Bono, The Edge, and Julie Taymor will be attending all performances between now and opening night.

We never tire of talking about the clearly doomed sure to be tremendous musical Spider-Man: Flip The Off Switch On The Absence Of Illumination (or something like that).