Every now and then, a local news outlet -- typically one below the Mason-Dixon line -- will unleash something onto the web so jaw-droppingly insane that, as a person who writes on the internet, I can almost feel myself becoming engorged as I read it.

The Swiss Bank UBS raised an eyebrow or a million last month after it was revealed that the company was forcing its employees to adhere to a 43-page employee handbook that detailed everything about how they dress, from their glasses to their asses.