With each passing day it's becoming easier for me to come to terms with the fact that I'll probably never be able to eat at Chick-Fil-A again without hating myself a little bit for it, especially when an insufferable twat like Rick Santorum publicly aligns himself with the "EAT MOR COK" company.

As you may have heard, fornication-obsessed cucumber Rick Santorum suspended his presidential campaign this afternoon, ending our improbable, long, national nightmare and giving me perhaps one last chance to post the GIF above.

You may recall how a few weeks ago Megadeth frontman Dave Mustaine came out in support of hilarious cartoon villain Rick Santorum, because he did too many drugs back in the day or something.

So that was a pretty eventful Conan last night, huh.

[via] If you haven't heard, Mitt Romney's adviser Eric Fehrnstrom compared their general election strategy to an Etch-A-Sketch ("You can kind of shake it up and restart all of over again.

Some things are funny but defy all explanation.

I have no way of knowing this for sure, but I'm absolutely convinced that Foster Friess -- the right-wing billionaire who's funding Rick Santorum's comic bid to repeal the 20th century -- is the person responsible for the creation of this meme.

As you probably know, sex-obsessed human dildo Rick Santorum has been using his hilarious and scary presidential run as a campaign to take America back to the good old days of the middle ages.

Currently, a man who thinks the government has a right to put a camera in your bedroom to find out if you're gay (no, really), is in favor of heterosexual sex only to make babies, is opposed to women in combat because of the feelings of love and chivalry it might evoke in male soldiers, and is prone to dressing like a total dork has an outside shot at being chosen as the Republican nominee for President.