Believe me, I don't like writing Speidi news any more than you like reading it, and I wouldn't be writing about them at all if this didn't involve naked tits.

I do my best to steer clear of Spencer-and-Heidi news around here, but this weekend there was a tabloid firestorm as the former Miss Montag was rushed from the "I'm a Celebrity.

Next Monday marks the premiere of NBC's "I'm a Celebrity.

All I want for ChristmasIf you're wondering why there are so many extra H's on the "GUH" in the headline, it's because Spencer Pratt has recorded a single.

So, this happened.

The 8th Plague of Revelation: a Speidi weddingSpencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are supposedly getting married this weekend, and they'll also be starring in NBC's "I'm a Celebrity.

Season 5 of "The Hills" -- or the second part of Season 4, whatever MTV is calling it, not that it matters -- debuted with two episodes last night, and words that fully describe how insulting this show is to viewers have yet to be invented in the English language.