At the very least this gives me a reason to embed one of my top five favorite Louis C.K. routines, so there's that.

We've been providing hard-hitting celebrity time-traveling vampire coverage since 2011, and as long as movie stars continue to resemble old black and white photos of non-famous people, we'll continue writing ridiculous headlines and using the Time-Traveling Vampires tag.

I'm on the East Coast and not as much fun as I used to be so I'm rarely up past late night monologues, but thanks to another brilliant Archer episode and subsequent GIF-making I was actually awake when Nicolas Cage dropped by Letterman last night.

Last week I playfully mocked the lunacy taking place on eBay with slightly unhinged sellers attempting to sell Civil War era photographs that "prove" once and for all that Nic Cage and John Travolta are time-traveling vampires.

A couple of weeks ago I was this close (*holds index finger and thumb apart in gesture that could indicate closeness or penis size*) to posting something about the $1 Million eBay auction of the photo that supposedly proves Nic Cage is a vampire from 1870's Tennessee.