Behold: Your new favorite business venture and the reason I now tell ladies to watch out because "my weiner looks like a butcher's knife."

Aziz Ansari came out in full stand-up mode on Kimmel last night, amped on B12 and running through material like Entertainment 720 cash flow

According to the Hollywood Reporter, Ben Schwartz will reprise his role as Jean-Ralphio to help Tom Haverford launch a new business.

Aziz Ansari is distributing his standup special online in the same vein as Louis C.K. and Jim Gaffigan.

Friends of Jim O'Heir, the actor who plays loveable punching bag Jerry on Parks and Recreation, apparently got him a birthday cake over the weekend with a picture of his face on it.

Every Friday morning I hazily mine the web for ideas and content I intend to delight you with prior to sending you off for the weekend.

Last Friday Aziz Ansari tweeted, "OH MY GOD.

Courtesy of our friend Jon Defreest, of course.

Cancer PSAs are typically depressing as hell, but not when they star Chris Pratt and Aziz Ansari, obviously.