Realistically, tech companies should not be allowed to design their own headquarters. You let that happen and suddenly you’ve got a giant glass scrotum in the middle of Seattle. But Cupertino likes money, so Apple’s new headquarters, which we’re dubbing the Space Donut, is going ahead anyway. And now we know more about it!
We knew that basically Apple was going to build a 2.8 million square foot monstrosity and then plant a bunch of trees around it, mostly to seem green while hiding the Space Donut from annoying tech groupies. But now we’ve got more of an idea of what Apple intends to do, and it’s basically what happens when you give nerds way too much money.
This, for example, is Apple’s concept of a parking lot:
There are also plans for an underground auditorium, and the entire thing will be ringed with walkways. Which is good, since with 13,000 employees, there are probably going to be a lot of meetings. The middle of the donut will apparently be full of trees, because Apple likes trees, and solar panels, and green building tax write-offs they love the most of all.
We tease, but it does look like a pretty cool place to work. That said, we’re now forced to turn to you, our readers, to ask if you’d rather work in the Space Donut or Amazon’s giant space scrotum. We know, it’s Monday, have your coffee before you answer.