NCIS (CBS) — Someone at the Chicago Tribune actually declared “NCIS” addictive. Yes: a “JAG” spin-off, addictive. I don’t mean to burst anyone’s bubble, but CIS snoops actually wear these things called “uniforms.” Also, the Navy doesn’t have sassy pig-tailed goth forensic scientists. The show would be more realistic if the investigators were giant robots who turn into F/A-18s that do bombing runs in Baghdad in between solving crimes. (DON’T YOU STEAL MY IDEA, BRUCKHEIMER!!!)
Fringe (Fox) — “The X-Files 2.0, Starring Pacey and Lt. Daniels” returns from hiatus with a new episode after a one-hour “American Idol.”
Biggest Loser: Couples (NBC) — Holy hell, it’s a TWO-HOUR episode tonight. I like the irony of people sitting on their couches for two hours watching fat people lose weight.
90210 (CW) — Tonight’s episode directed by Jason Priestly. **crosses fingers** C’monnnnn nostalgic sideburns!
Real Housewives of New Jersey Preview (Bravo) — Here’s my preview: WOOF.
UFC Unleashed (Spike) — Some good fights here, including UFC 92′s Rashad Evans versus Forrest Griffin and a great knockout from Quinton “Rampage” Jackson. Don’t know what I’m talking about? Just go drink some Powerthirst.