AWWWW POOR TYRA

To call Tyra Banks an egomaniac would unfairly classify her with mere human egomaniacs.  Tyra’s more of a new species beyond Homo sapiens, a genetic anomaly incapable of self-awareness, the result of a mutation that stripped her of feeling empathy.  Recently I saw her talk about how finishing second in the prom queen voting made her the driven person she is today.  This quote is more of the same:

“At 15, I was 5-foot-9, 98 pounds and on every sports team. Awkward as hell, I’d do the basketball tip-off, then be put on the bench. That’s still with me. Even thinking about what to wear is, for me, a process. Before I go out, I can try on two different belts and three pairs of shoes.” [NY Post]

“High school was so hard, I had to letter in three varsity sports!  You can’t imagine what it was like being tall and skinny!  I was taller than all the boys my age so I had to date guys in college!  The other kids made fun of me because I was the only one with flawless skin!  My grades started slipping because I was modeling in Paris on the weekends!  And all of these trying experiences make me different from all other women in that I try on different outfits before going out.”

I don’t want to come across as too negative here, but if she fell into machinery at a sausage plant, the world would be a better place.