Despite “The Real World’s” transformation from “iconic Generation-X touchstone” to “annual booze-fueled f-ckfest for attractive morons,” last season’s foray into Brooklyn at least tried to be something besides a weekly televised frat party turned shouting match. There was the Army reservist who was headed back to Iraq, a post-op tranny whose transformation to woman wasn’t exactly a sparkling success, and that guy who swore he wasn’t gay but totally was. Closeted people are funny!
Alas, “The Real World: Cancun” looks to compete with the San Diego, Sydney, and Hawaii editions (and Hollywood, and so on…) for “Trashiest. Season. Ever.” In two minutes of trailer, we get:
√ Puck 2.0!
√ Girl who was in foster care!
√ Girl pondering lesbianism! (psst: foreshadowing)
√ Lesbianism!
√ Guy who’s “totally different” when drunk!
√ “She thinks she’s better than everyone else.”
√ Spoken through tears: “I’m going home.”
√ “I shouldn’t have spent the night. I have a boyfriend.”
√ “I WAS IN REHAB!!!”
√ Catfight!
Ugh. All it’s missing is “I’m not here to make friends.” Swine flu, you really dropped the ball on this one.
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Studio Exec #1: Hey, remember that horrible movie that no one went to see, “The Real Cancun”?
Studio Exec #2: Yeah
Studio Exec #1: What if that were a TV series?
Studio Exec #2: Stop drilling, you sexy bastard. You’ve hit OIL!
Everyone involved in this should get AIDS of the cancer of the eyeballs.
AYIIIA can LIIICK my fucking balls.
They’ve fallen a long way since the first one in New York.
I would donkey punch this show. It peaked/nadired in Las Vegas–there were 4 hot chicks that time and my brain was like “KILL” but my dong was all “Guten tag, ladies.”
If you ever wonder why the terrorists hate us, its not because of our freedoms, its not because of our military bases, its because of shit like this.
I mean, we all liked those Subaru Outback commercials, but to name your kid after em?
Lets pray that the Predator chooses Cancun for hunting season. Ayiia’s skull would make a great addition to the ship’s trophy case.