Oh, how I wish this were his mug shot.
In the continuing saga of “Jack Bauer head-butted a fashion designer to protect Brooke Shields,” Kiefer Sutherland will surrender to police and face third-degree assault charges, according to the New York Daily News.
The actor will be issued a desk appearance ticket for the misdemeanor – meaning he won’t be jailed and will be free to travel before he’s arraigned. [...]
A friend told The News that Sutherland – who seemed to be channeling his “24″ alter ego Jack Bauerwhen he slammed his head into [Jack] McCollough’s at a SoHo nightspot – felt bad about the bizarre display.
“Kiefer is sorry it happened. Absolutely. It’s terribly regrettable,” the friend said.
Still, the friend insisted Sutherland lashed out inside SubMercer because McCollough, a designer for Proenza Schouler, bumped into actress Brooke Shieldsand didn’t apologize. “Kiefer was provoked,” the friend said.
Oh, he was provoked all right. By booze. Which only makes me love him more.
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What a shocker.
The photo, not the story.
That’s more rocker than shocker, actually.
It’s also unreported that Kiefer had to stand on three phone books to perform the aforementioned headbutt.
Next week, Kiefer will be served with a restraining order after channeling his persona from Young Guns II and stalking a girl at a Chinese laundromat.
There should have been a gunshot to a knee involved somewhere in there. Kiefer you unrepentant drunk, I love you.
That’s more rocker than shocker, actually.
Yeah, I know, but I couldn’t resist the easy joke.
Alright, we’re 1-1 on the corrections today. See you tomorrow.
Otto/Uff, I like to think of it as a reverse Su-Fi because Jack Bauer wants to kill Dane Cook.