Oh my God. Everybody stop what you’re doing and watch this right now. It’s an early ’90s report from Tom Brokaw about this newfangled thingamajig called the Internet, and there are some absolute gems here:
• Brokaw: …a look at a part of the computer world that we’ve all been hearing a good deal about but many of us still don’t understand: It’s called “the Internet.” [Note: I swear he stops JUST short of using air quotes]
• Voiceover: A dazzling array of information, documents, animation, sounds, even moving pictures — piped to your computer screen through something called the Internet.
• Bill Gates (wearing a toned-down Cosby sweater): It’s very hip to be on the Internet right now.
Okay, yes, I realize that it’s short-sighted to look at this and laugh, as there was a time in our lives when all of this was very new and confusing. I mean, I occasionally checked “e-mail” in college on a black-and-green screen, so it’s not like we’ve unearthed the first papyrus scrolls about unleavened bread. Although if you could get those in .pdf form and email them to me, that would be great.
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The video won’t load. My Prodigy account must be acting up.
Ah, yes. Reminds me of all those nights hitting on 16-year-old girls on AOL Chat. Seems like it was only yesterday.
I like the random ending.
Could someone please tell me what I’m supposed to do with all of these AOL discs?? Aren’t those things everywhere??
What… too soon?
Is anyone else having problems loading these moving pictures on Netscape Navigator?
A dazzling array of information, documents, animation, sounds, even moving pictures
And dick jokes. They forgot dick jokes.
ahhh…Alamak chat, the 16-19 room. Got me my first BJ. Good times.
Your with me, MS-DOS
I already saw this on the alt.nerds.obsessive listserv.
Alamak? What was he, Eskimo?
Hey, who’s going to be in the Dew Drop Inn on Pow Wow at 2??
“It’s along way from having a flat screen that is as thin as a book”
Ahhhh crap!! I was using my Iphone as a bookmarker the other day and now I cant find it.
And I completly forgot about that whole “College Email account” thing. It was like using DOS to read messages about how the weather is getting warmer so watch out for all the rape that is about to happen.
That was only back in 2002.
I remember how they used to talk about shopping in “virtual” malls and would show 3D stores or whatever when all we really need is text and pictures.
When asked about internet privacy, Bill Gates said, “We’re going to have to work on that.” Now that we’re in the distant future of 2009, doesn’t it feel great to have complete online security?
Here’s my SSN; I’m sure nothing bad will happen to me: 328-69-8448
Oh yeah, that SSN is fake, and it actually spells out EAT MY SHIT.
That virtual mall looks like doom.
*Breaks out BFG*
What? No mention of Al Gore inventing the internet?
Holy Jesus look at the size of that laptop…it looks like a half-ton brick.
I actually had:
1)The Timex watch that loaded data from flashing lines on the screen. Had to give it up when it wouldn’t run on Win95.
2)Got rid of the Compaq laptop with the giant docking case they were showing to get the IBM Notebook with CD-ROM player.
Wow. Maybe that internet thing will catch on, huh?
It even has a “CD ROM”
Looks like a piece of shit.
gates’s tussled, miscut hair is so bad that it’s actually back en vogue now, ironically. maybe he started it? all the high schoolers in my neighborhood would be so embarrassed to see this.