I LITERALLY HOPED THAT SHE WOULD DIE

I do my best to steer clear of Spencer-and-Heidi news around here, but this weekend there was a tabloid firestorm as the former Miss Montag was rushed from the “I’m a Celebrity…” set to a Costa Rican hospital, where doctors unfortunately saved her life.  TMZ says:

We’ve learned Heidi was rushed to the hospital and diagnosed with a gastric ulcer, after being held with hubby Spencer Pratt in a dark room for a day and a night with only water, rice and beans. It was designed as punishment because they left the show. One cast member described their treatment this way: “It’s the same as Guantanamo Bay.”

That cast member: Khalid Sheikh Mohammed.

And get this … a cast member tells us NBC execs tried to convince Heidi to stay on the set rather than take an ambulance to a hospital for treatment. She has now left the hospital and is on meds.  We’re told some of the cast members want to quit, but their passports have been taken away and they are under guard.

Oh no.  NBC is mistreating our celebrities.  Our precious D-list fame-whoring celebrities.  Won’t someone do something.  There should be a, uh, petition?  Yeah, someone should start one of those.  **turns on TV, falls asleep to infomercial**

(NOTE: I pasted the banner image into Photoshop and — no lie — the application quit and closed.)