Scientology unveiled three new commercials, and I’m kind of freaked out by how resonant they are. They’re all inspirational and speak to the natural yearnings of the human spirit in the 21st century. As I watched them I was like, “Yeah, totally!” and then the commercials were all “SCIENTOLOGY” and I felt all sick inside. It’s the same kind of feeling you get when you see a hot chick with really great legs… and then you realize it’s a transvestite. You just want to scrub your brain with Clorox. (Actually, I think scrubbing your brain with Clorox is part of the auditing process to Level VIII. Ha ha, just kidding Scientology! p.s. Don’t sue.)
Two more after the jump (via The Live Feed). The last one sounds a lot like a monologue from Fight Club.



Any religion that spawned “Battlefield: Earth” must be true.
I found a lima bean that looks just like Suri Cruise! Ill put it with the others.
Bit late here. bambat had this story yesterday.
[bambat.blogspot.com]
All religions are founded on giving people what they want at a given time. It’s no coincidence that every single religion tells people that they will live on after death in one way or another, playing along with the natural fear of death that we all have.
Bit late here. bambat had this story yesterday.
Oh my gosh! A whole DAY late? I can’t believe I put Farrah Fawcett’s and Michael Jackson’s deaths ahead of this.
Anyone else notice how as the flash comes through “SCIENTOLOGY” there is a brief flash of what looks like a cross in the T, and as it moves on there is a crescent in the O? Subliminal references to Christianity and Islam?
Hey anon, Jet Travolta tells you get to get fucked…in whichever way a dead retard communicates.
@Enrico: Wow. +1 of course, but wow.
The second one is like we’re all in the Matrix and Travolta and Cruise will give us the pill to get out. That’s so totally edgy man, they know everything about me!!!
Man, if Rohypnol would get these same ad guys, my date life would go so much smoother.
So we’re sure these aren’t just part of an elaborate revival of Baz Luhrmann’s music career? “Wear sunscreen….”