WHAT’S ON: ALANIS PLAYS A GYNECOLOGIST

Weeds (Showtime) — Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker) contemplates getting an abortion; Alanis Morissette plays her gynecologist.  Isn’t that ironic?  Well, no.  I guess not.

The Bachelorette (ABC) –In case you’re still watching this farce, that dickhead Wes is still on the show.  Jillian and the final four bachelors get a free trip to Spain.  Mmmm, I love authentic Mexican food.

Intervention (A&E) — Actual TV Guide description of this week’s new episode: “Drug addiction is the subject.”  WHOA!  That sounds totally different than every other episode!

Tour de France: Stage 3 (Vs.) — Ah, the Tour de France.  Or as Versus execs call it, “The Stanley Cup of cycling.”

Raising the Bar (TNT) — If I ever got a TV show, it would be called “Emptying the Bar.”

The Late Show with David Letterman (CBS) — Hayden Panettiere is a guest; perhaps Dave can ask her about the upcoming lesbian story line on “Heroes.”  Also: pretentious ass Conor Oberst will perform with whatever band he’s fronting right now.

The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien (NBC) — After a week off to film out-of-studio segments, Conan returns with guests Howie Mandel and… Alanis Morissette?  WTF?  Now is it ironic?  A little?  “Ironic” means “coincidental,” right?