Torchwood: Children of Earth (BBC America) — Children get possessed by aliens and start speaking in unison in this five-night miniseries. I dunno, sounds creepy. Couldn’t they lighten it up a little bit? Maybe call it “Children of Mirth”?
The Bachelorette (ABC) — In a lame attempt to build anticipation for the finale, this is a behind-the-scenes episode where Jillian and the eliminated bachelors all talk about what they felt that one time when the guy wanted to have sex with her feet.
Dating in the Dark (ABC) — While my taste and good sense demand that I trash it, I admit: I’m morbidly curious.
4th and Long (Spike) — Season finale. Your exclusive chance to find out which guy is the guy who gets cut first at the Cowboys training camp later this summer.
Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations (Travel) — Bourdain’s in Melbourne, Australia, where he once again refuses to shoot up black tar heroin on-camera. C’mon Tony, just once. For the old days.