OH MY GOD. Must. Stay. Calm. Steven Seagal will star in a new A&E reality series that chronicles his actual service in the Jefferson Parish Sheriff’s Office in Louisiana. Really. Honest. I swear to God. This is not a joke. From the press release:
Until now, Seagal has never sought publicity for his work with the Jefferson Parish Sheriff’s Office. However, over a span of almost two decades, he has regularly gone out on patrol and worked major cases. The series will allow fans to ride shotgun with Seagal as he and his hand-selected elite team of deputies respond to crimes-in-progress. [nola.com]
There are no words for this joy. I want to go up to strangers on the street and give them hugs. Because this reflects the simple genius of someone saying, “I like ‘Cops,’ but I’d like it better if Steven Seagal were one of the cops.”
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Eh, I’d rather watch “Katie Segal: Blowing Ed O’Neill”.
This just made both my and my dad’s day.
Well, he sure is fat enough to play the role of a cop.
THE TRAINING WAS SO SUCCESSFUL…
that the cops in this shot are laughing at him.
Next week on Steven Seagal: Lawman…Steven arrives on the scene of a bank robbery in progress, and squints at the robber while standing perfectly still for upwards of 15 seconds.
really?!?! Steven Segal?!?! man i hate that dude. he’s a tool
That gave me a boner.
Fat guy karate is my favorite karate.
Unless the suspect happens to be an asthmatic octogenarian with a gammy leg then I don’t think Sheriff Seagal will be undertaking too many pursuits on foot.
Who wins in a fight? Early 90′s Segal or early 90′s VanDamme? Discuss.
WTF?! I live in Jefferson Parish and have never, ever heard of this.
Course, I don’t have many run-ins with the police, so that could explain that.
first off jefferson parish is NOT new orleans… it’s the suburbs and steven seagal is a prime example of them big headed low IQ yats out there
I also live in Jefferson parrish and have never heard anything about this but I must say that am definitely considering breaking the law now
Seagal is the first white man to ever run his own dojo in Japan. Multi-degree blackbelt in aikido. He would whip Van Damme’s ass.
Seagal is also the first white man to buy a pair of used school girl panties from a vending machine in Japan. He is basically the Rosa Parks of white people in Japan.
WTF/ What are you, some kind of gay chubby chaser? Do you also dream of blowing Chuck Norris? “Mmm fat pretend martial artists mmmm>” I’l love to see this fat loser get into a UFC octagon and get sodomized on national TV.
I hope he has to chase people because he runs like a homo. might actually be funny.
Who wins in a fight? Early 90’s Segal or early 90’s VanDamme?
America.
I’ve been living in Jefferson Parrish and I have heard about this show like 2 or 3 years ago.
Actually, he owned a house in Lafitte while he was filming this show.
I think I shared this with Vince about a year ago when it started filming or something…and he came in his pants so hard I heard it over here in Oregon.
I guess we should be grateful he didnt infest the porn industry.
I live in Jefferson Parish and have never heard about him being a deputy ether. I knew he lived here. From the Star I saw on his uniform that makes him a deputy chief. Seagal has just gone way up on my list. The JPSO does not make anyone a deputy much less a Deputy Chief that has not earned it. For those that don’t know this, Jefferson Parish is larger than it’s next door neighbor Orleans Parish and has far less crime. The JPSO does not play. Unlike the NOPD.
All I can say IS WOW…At first I was thinking OHHHHHH NO another one of those shows…HELL NO…He received his POST (Peace Officer Standard Training) certificate in California 23 years ago with the LAPD…And he has been a part time deputy for 20 years…WHO KNEW, this might be a cool show.
hey bkwemakeithappen…..fuck u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know seagal personally and he is deputy chief of jefferson parish. I am also good friends with johhny fortunato and larry dyess. All are wonderful hard working people. And believe me seagal, despite his appearance, is not someone you want to tango with. Believe me.
Seagal may look like a bit of a slob now, but he is a legitimate martial artist. Read his bio on Wikipedia.
A fat old man with a bad dyejob and NO police training. Makes me wish for William Shatner to revive his role as T J Hooker.
Seagal DOES NOT have a POST certificate from LAPD or ANY police academy in California. He is a FRAUD. He is NOT a “deputy chief” – He was ‘appointed’as an “HONORARY” chief by that old dead gook Henry Lee. Another question, Is there ANY deputy in JPSO weighing less than 400 lbs?
I enjoyed some of Seagals movies from long ago. However, a “Lawman” in 2009??? It’s obvious he is gossly over weight and in this new show, you can tell the producers try not to show him in profile and mostly film him from the chest up… perhaps trying to hide his big gut. Maybe it’s part of his contract not to show his gut. I saw him on a “Late Night” talk show and he wore a black, thick leather coat and constantly kept his arms over his bloated stomach as if he could hide it. For goodness sake, if he’s a martial art expert, why can’t he lose the weight??? And those other cops on “Lawman” are so wimpy and all talk (including Seagal)like black street gang members. There’s nothing worse than white guys trying to talk like black guys… It’s an insult to African Americans!!! Seagal, lose the weight, talk like a white guy and lose the “show”… it’s stupid as you are not a real cop nor are you black!!! Give us a break!!!!
Does anyone know where in Lafitte he lives or lived?
I agree that Mr. Seagal is overweight. This does not, however, pose much of an impediment for a practitioner of Aikido. As the majority of Aikido training involves moving the force of your opponent’s attacks around your own center of gravity a little extra weight actually helps. I hold black belts in three martial arts and I still train on a regular basis: Mr. Seagal would probably destroy me almost immediately (unless I got a lucky shot in on his knees, his eyes, or his throat).
Segal, what a con, to fat, out of work so say actor, not a real cop, not a real martial arts genius, to slow to do anything, just conning the public, people if you belive the the cop thing and his story, GET A LIFE, it is all still pretend moveie (take 1. take 2. take 3. etc)