True Blood (HBO) — Evan Rachel Wood FINALLY makes an appearance. She’s the only vampire on the show who doesn’t need makeup to achieve the requisite paleness. Also pictured above: Deborah Ann Woll as my girlfriend.
Mad Men (AMC) — This episode promises some Jane versus Joan cattiness (yay!) plus some more issues with Grandpa living in the Drapers’ house. I can do without the Grandpa story line. Should’ve just sent him to the nursing home. My children are totally going to let me die alone, by the way.
Daytime Emmy Awards (CW) — These were headed for a cable broadcast until the CW “saved” them. Why, I don’t know. I don’t pretend to care, and neither should you.
Being Human (BBC America) — Season finale. Stop me if you’ve heard this one: “A ghost, a werewolf, and a vampire live in a house…” No really, that’s the premise. Spoiler: they stop being polite and start getting real.
Futurama: Into the Wild Green Yonder (Comedy Central) — Two-hour special in which — **reads synopsis** — eh, the usual hijinks.
Tool Academy (VH1) — Season 2 premiere. Once again, narcissistic cheating douchebags have been tricked into personality rehab by their moronically faithful girlfriends. I prefer to pretend these people don’t exist.
Sunday Night Football: Bears at Broncos (NBC) — The ongoing implosion of the Broncos under new coach Josh McDaniels might be the single most delightful story of the offseason. Watch as new Bears QB Jay Cutler picks apart his former team, and cross your fingers in the hope that ex-Bear Kyle Orton can throw another left-handed interception in the end zone.