Get a look at this. That image is David Caruso as Horatio Caine before the central character in “CSI: Miami” had his trademark sunglasses (requisite: YEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!!!). As Caruso tells us in the video below, the season premiere will be a flashback to 1997, before the CSI Miami team had assembled, and poor Horatio is just “standing out there in the Everglades, kind of shading my eyes because I don’t wear sunglasses.” Oh my God, a world in which Horatio Caine DOESN’T WEAR SUNGLASSES??!? That’s no way to live!
I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say that 95% of the “CSI: Miami’s” appeal is the first two minutes of the show, where the sunglasses are a key component of Caruso’s overacting and the show’s terrible writing. Those sunglasses are where Caruso gets his powers, like Superman with the sun or Patrick Swayze and his mullet. Without Horatio’s sunglasses, you couldn’t use The Who’s “Won’t Get Fooled Again” for the opening credits. It would have to be something extra crappy like “Happy Jack.” Oh man, that song sucks on fire.
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Horatio w/out sunglasses:
Cop: They call it speed dating.
Horatio: Well, you know what they say (squints and holds up hand to block sun)…hold on….ahhh ahhhhhhh
/sneezes from sun in the eyes
YYYYEEEEAAAAHHHHH!!!
Peter King disapproves of 1997 Caine’s disrespect of the sun.
+1 Danger
If someone could mash that up in a video, I would be a happy camper.
That Horatio is ever changing. A man of many different…..shades.
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Me: Horatio Cane is like a weaponized version of Lenny Briscoe.
David Caruso: “Then I guess you can call him Law… and Mortar”
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
I choose to remember David Caruso as that shit for brains deputy in First Blood that Rambo damn near kills for being an asshole.
If we could mash up Horatio putting on his sunglasses then getting stabbed in the chest by that massive Rambo hunting knife, the world would be a better place.
“If we could mash up Horatio putting on his sunglasses then getting stabbed in the chest by that massive Rambo hunting knife, the world would be a better place.”
That was part of the original movie, but I’m afraid that scene got…….cut.
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Me: Horatio, Patrick Swayze died today. Initial cause of death is pancreatic cancer.
Horatio: Well now he can play Ghost….for real.
YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
And now I’m going to hell.
Don’t dis Happy Jack (and next time link to a better quality recording… anything will sound like crap in a low quality live recording!)