One of the things I’ve never understood about other TV blogs is their tendency to write detailed recaps of shows. Who reads these? If I don’t watch a show, I don’t want to read a description of what happened, and if I do watch a show, I don’t need to read what happened BECAUSE I SAW IT ALREADY. Recaps are reruns with words instead of moving pictures.
So, with that in mind, I just wanted to provide a bulleted list of badass things that happened in last night’s “Sons of Anarchy” episode. No need for you to know plot points or character names, all you have to do is sit there and appreciate the face-rocking that occurred:
- Wife not telling husband she was gang-raped by Nazis.
- In the aftermath of a party, man sleeping on bar with stripper in 69 position on his face. Stripper unceremoniously dumped on the floor.
- Henry Rollins.
- Female porn star beaten in face (aftermath only).
- Porno shoot interrupted by motorcycle gang attacking crew with baseball bats.
- Three-way interracial gang… gun battle. People shot.
- Tom Arnold beaten up.
I talked to someone who was like, “Well, I missed the first episode, so now I’m just gonna have to wait and watch Seasons 1 and 2 on DVD.” WRONG. If you have cable and you’re not my parents you should be watching this show.