SCOOBY DOO + ZOMBIES = BADASS

As much as I’d like to say that the zombie phenomenon is played out, I can’t help but admire the occasional slice of badassery it stirs in the human imagination, such as Shaun of the Dead, “The Walking Dead,” World War Z, or this illustration of Velma and Scooby Doo surviving in the zombie apocalypse.

I don’t want to geek out too much here, but I kind of love everything about this picture: how nerdy Velma is the only survivor, how Scooby’s been made over to look like a vicious Doberman mix, the re-christening of the “Mystery Machine,” the chain-link fencing over the windows… but one thing troubles me. The cross and stakes seem to suggest that maybe this was made to make Velma… AW CRAP. This isn’t a zombie apocalypse at all! It’s a vampire apocalypse! What I thought was badass was actually gay and lame! YA USED ME, INTERNET!

Sorry about that, folks. The only way that this can be salvaged is if we make it an apocalypse with vampires AND zombies. Which reminds me: I’m writing a movie script called Vampires vs. Zombies, so anyone else who tries to make that film can expect to get sued. (If it has “versus” in the title, it’s GOTTA be good! Like Alien vs. Predator, or Monsters vs Aliens, or Roe v. Wade.)