Top Chef (Bravo) — Nigella Lawson is the guest judge. This week’s challenge is making breakfast in bed for Nigella and Padma Lakshmi, and I think I just came. There’s no way the show can live up to what I’ve already imagined.
Glee (Fox) — It’s back after its World Series hiatus. Speaking of which, I saw an adorable little girl chanting, “Mets drool, Yankees rule! Mets drool, Yankees rule!” today in my neighborhood. Pretty cute for evil demon spawn.
South Park (Comedy Central) — Not much to say here, except that Trey Parker and Matt Stone deserve props for a terrific season so far. It’s great to see the show keep its edge.
CSI:NY (CBS) — Part 2 of the crossover trilogy. Hooray for sweeps week.
Flowers Uncut with Jeff Leathem (TLC) — A reality show about “rock n’ roll florist” Jeff Leathem. That has to be the single gayest nickname/title I’ve ever seen. And I mean both kinds of gay. Homosexual and stupid.
Secret Girlfriend (Comedy Central) — Season finale. I hate to admit it, but I find this show kind of watchable. Like, I’m not going to DVR it, and I’m not saying that it’s good, but if it’s on it holds my attention. And you should know that my attention span is it cold in here, or is it just me?
43rd Annual Country Music Awards (ABC) — Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood host. There’s a long list of performers that includes Underwood, Taylor Swift, Kid Rock, Kenny Chesney, Dave Matthews, Daughtry, and a bunch of other white people I haven’t heard of.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/226/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/florida-stanley-150x150.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/arrow-150x150.jpg){kind=icon}
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/SADSF-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Ted+TheMother-150x150.jpg)
Good to see Kid Rock still working. Wait, no it isn’t.
Secret Girlfriend should be on Cinemax at 3:45. On Comedy Central it’s just going to go the way of Strip Mall.
Secret Girlfriend is adored by the man downstairs.
If I woke up between and had breakfast in bed with Padma and Nigella, I could die happy.
If I woke between and had breakfast in bed with Padma and Nigella after a full night of fucking them both, I would demand that to be killed right there at the very peak of my existence.
I almost gave up on Secret Girlfriend after the first episode, but the subsequent episodes have been pretty funny. I’m still not sold on the whole second person POV thing, though I’m not sure if the show would work any other way.
SG has been surprisingly good. Eating meatballs in the tub cracked me up.
True story: we made her Guinness chocolate cake this weekend for my birthday, and the recipe is filthy. She says her cake is “magnificent in its damp blackness.” DAMP FUCKING BLACKNESS. Are we still talking about cake? [www.nigella.com]
Secret Girlfriend is great! I would marry Jessica. Probably because women like that simply don’t exist and if you ever find one that’s hot, cool and not crazy, LOCK THAT SHIT DOWN! Basically it gives us hope. Plus, “you” are portrayed as “the handsome one” of the three roommates. I am more a combination of the fat guy who stares at the naked chick on the couch and the other guy who is halfways normal. So, seeing women fawn over me is a welcome change.
Tracer, if you woke up between Padma and Nigella, you must be old as hell and rich as fuck because that’s all they seem to be attracted to.
Guinness chocolate cake is a good example of a food that is equally as awesome as consuming the three words making it up its name (drinking Guinness, eating chocolate, and eating a cake). See also, chicken pot pie.
If Padma were to marry Vikings CB Karl Paymah her name would be PADMA PAYMAH
/Oprah…Uma…Oprah…Uma…
Danger Guerrero, your one thing as delicious as its three component words is intriguing. How about girl scout cookies?
South Park has been good.
I still dont have the balls to call bikers “fags” to their faces, but I will think it right at them. That point about the word “fag” was really good.
There’s a long list of performers that includes Underwood, Taylor Swift, Kid Rock, Kenny Chesney, Dave Matthews, Daughtry, and a bunch of other white people I haven’t heard of.
This lineup was assembled to counterbalance all the pride we felt for our country today, right?
Damn, that South Park was fantastic.
I’m actually surprised the real Beck hasn’t accused Obama of being a “Smurf Killer” yet.
It’s about time that they exposed Glenn Beck for the sensationalistic prick that he is.
Padma and Nigella? Shit, that sounds like the best kitchen based porno ever!
I would do wild unthinkable things to Nigella Lawson. She’s not afraid of the Shiancoe dong is she?