Last night, after a harrowing “Sons of Anarchy” finale that introduced more problems than it resolved, I dialed up the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show on my DVR. You know, because it’s my job. Research. Yeah, research, that’s it. And I was surprised to learn that it wasn’t just a Black Eyed Peas-haunted runway show with overly elaborate lingerie costumes; there was also a reality show built into the hour that would determine a new Victoria’s Secret Angel.
And for those of you who missed the final showdown between Jamie Lee (pictured) and Kylie, SPOILER ALERT: Kylie won. Poor Jamie Lee. Once — just ONCE — I’d like to see a gorgeous blonde with huge boobs get a break in this country. (Video of both girls below.)
Oh, and while I’m on the subject, I’d like to put down in writing my F You to the ballyhooed Miraculous Bra. Oh, it increases your chest by two cup sizes? You know what that’s called, ladies? LYING. I guess I’ll just shove this cucumber down my pants and expect you to not be disappointed when we get naked.
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On a related note, the Black Eyed Peas can ruin anything.
I find that women are much less disappointed by the ol’ “cucumber in the pants” trick when you keep a few ounces of blue cheese dip smeared on your thighs at all times.
I have an armadillo in my trousers.
/hoping for a “soa: just the bad ass parts” post today
Jesus Christ. That’s like choosing a 55 year-old scotch over a 54 year-old scotch when the rest of us are drinking wine coolers and rapping out stories at the least popular barber shop in the village.
Jamie Lee was robbed!! I demand a recount!! Where is Jamie Lee so that I may console her….
Say what you like about Fergie, the girl’s body is insane. Shit, I don’t care if she really does have a dick. That’s why God created doggystyle.
This is a travesty of a mockery of a sham of an injustice. Maybe it was the bra but the “winner’s” boobs had an enhanced look about them.
@AEVC – were there really any ‘losers’ in this competition?
Besides my dick that has been needing a reapplication of salve since about 1030 last night.
@UU: I don’t think I’m gonna do a SOA: Badass Parts today. I’m kinda depressed about the season ending. And as much as I liked the finale, WTF was up with leaving Zobelle alive? Clay didn’t have the 45 seconds to go into the store and kill him?
You may not like it but you still look.
/laughs manically
//doesn’t need the padding
///is also a lesbian so it’s a moot point
Matt, I hear you. Not only depressed about the show ending, but also about having to wait a few months for that new show “Justified” to debut.
Keeping Zobelle alive was fucked up, but he is a great villain that will no doubt return to the show. Also, the scene with Weston and his kid before they shot him actually made me a little sad. Gut wrenching stuff last night between that and Abel getting kidnapped.
I haven’t watched SOA yet, but I guess that’s my own damn fault.
On another note, at least Jamie Lee can look forward to a career of titty wrestling Diora Baird in my dreams.
Burnsy, sorry if my comment spoiled anything for you.
Nah, I don’t really believe in spoilers. I mean, unless you tell me Bruce Willis is a ghost or the Titanic sinks, you’re not ruining anything.
SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE BURNSY
Upstate, all the parts were badass parts.
PEEEEEEEEEOPLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!!!!!!!!!!
Ufford is not doing a Badass Parts recap today because he is too busy stealing babies.
/poor Half-Sack, no one cared about his death
Right after getting his patch!
I know they agreed to patch him but did they ever get around to telling him? He still had his prospect badges on.
Where was that Mick going with Abel? Through the Bering Strait, around the polar ice cap, and over to Ireland? And that was a sweet boat.
I guess he could head south and go through the Panama Canal. Would certainly be warmer.
That ATF bitch still hasn’t learned. Even after Opie’s warning, all she can seem to do is screw up families, albeit ones tied together by the everlasting glue of crime.
Also, I may have to rewatch it, but wasn’t half-sack moaning [so still alive] when they got there? Or was that Tara from the bedroom?
Chick has one big titty and one little titty. They should call that bitch Biggie Smalls.
I actually “voted” in that Victoria Secret Model dealy because I knew Chesty LaRue was going to get robbed as the other chick looked more “typical.” Sigh, I haven’t been this upset since Clay Aiken lost American Idol.
when will victorias secret start including their models with the purcgase of their dainties?
so wonderful!Thanks for your review.
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