WHAT’S ON TONIGHT: DENIRO & THE BOSS

The 32nd Annual Kennedy Center Honors (CBS) — Mel Brooks, Bruce Springsteen, Dave Brubeck, Robert DeNiro, and opera singer Grace Bumbry receive silly-looking rainbow medals. Shouldn’t this be on PBS? (Photo: Getty Images)

One Big Happy Family (TLC) — Series premiere. A family of four that collectively weighs 1,400 pounds tries to lose weight together. Wait, did I read that right? A family of FOUR? On TLC? Well, I guess they weigh as much as a family of nine.

Dirty Jobs (Discovery) — Mike gets all sticky making maple syrup, thus fulfilling a fantasy held by about half the women I know.

Better Off Ted (ABC) — Hey, a new episode of something I actually like watching! That hasn’t happened in about a week or so.

Ghost Lab (Discovery) — Season finale. Thank God. Shows about ghosts are f’n retarded. Although I might accidentally watch this if they renamed it “GhostLab 2020.”

Tabatha’s Salon Takeover (Bravo) — From Yahoo: “Tabatha heads to a male-only salon with a staff that refuses to open its doors to women, and never spends more than 30 minutes on even the most high-end haircuts. Can Tabatha get the staffers to go coed and start changing their policies for the better?” Um, that’s not a salon. It’s called a barber shop. And I don’t want to spend more than 30 minutes there. I really hate Bravo sometimes.

(Sorry for the short day, I’m spending most of the day driving back home.)