All right, we’ve got a couple of arrests to start off our week! Yay! First up, “Diff’rent Strokes” star Gary Coleman was 
picked up by police in his Utah hometown for an outstanding domestic abuse warrant from 2009. He and his wife have had a rocky marriage, but the alleged victim in the case isn’t known. It’s a pretty dull story, except for Coleman’s mug shot.
In other law-related news, Andy Dick surprised absolutely no one when he was arrested late last week for two counts of sexual abuse in West Virginia. Wait, sexual abuse is against the law in West Virginia? Huh. Who knew?
According to the criminal complaint, Dick was talking to a guy when he “unexpectedly and without invitation grabbed the victim’s crotch, repeatedly groping then kissing him.” Also in the complaint, a security guard at the bar says that Andy Dick “grabbed his crotch and began laughing” when the guard tried to give him an armband. [TMZ]
I’ve never understood why Andy Dick gets any work. It’s obvious to the most casual observer that the only things he really loves are drugs and cock. Comedy is just something he dabbles in but wasn’t made to do. Kinda like sex with women.
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I am outraged that Sober House did not work for Andy. My faith in Dr. Drew has been shaken to the core.
For something he wasn’t made to do, Dick gets more female action than everyone on this page put together. I’m sure there’s some kind of life lesson in that.
Wait a minute….Gary Coleman’s hometown is in UTAH!??!?!? Is he the black guy known as “Not Carlos Boozer”?
That picture of Gary is terrifying. Seriously. He looks like a demon.
“Curious,” thought Andy. “This man has no penis.”
I met Andy a few years ago at a small film festival in LA. He was sober, polite, and respectful to everyone, and graciously agreed to pose for photos. He had brought his son, who also was a perfect gentleman. Perhaps the venue helped some, especially for those of us who believe environment plays a role. I realize he’s had his ugly ‘moments’, but just wanted to put it out there that he’s a real person with problems and has his good side. I hope he cleans up soon for his sake and his family’s.
It’s only illegal in West Virginia if it’s not a blood relative. True story.