American Idol (Fox) — Guest judges Katy Perry and Avril Lavigne have made a living from music despite — or maybe because – they come off as totally annoying. And yet: oh, the things I’d like to do them… (Yes, even Avril. Sorry, it has something to do with having “Complicated” stuck in my head for three months in 2002.)
Bad Girls Club (Oxygen) — It’s a good premise, but the girls need to be way hotter and lesbians. So I guess what I really mean is that it’s a good premise for porn.
The Little Couple (TLC) — From Yahoo: “Bill and Jen have friends in town, and they’re ready to pull out all the stops to show them a good time. Problem is, the weather isn’t cooperating, and rain might just ruin a fun-filled weekend.” Pretend that’s a sitcom plot. Wouldn’t you be pissed at the lazy writing? And yet this flies for reality TV. If you watch this, I hate you.
Teen Mom (MTV) — Season finale. You know, this never quite popped like “Jersey Shore.” Maybe those teen moms should try getting drunk and fighting other people or their babies.
Better Off Ted (ABC) — Sigh. I’ll miss you when you’re gone.
White Collar (USA) — I’ve heard this isn’t all that bad, but how the hell am I supposed to watch a show predicated on white collar crime? When I meet someone who works in finance, my eyes instantly glaze over and I get transported to a dream world of cats on trampolines. In a related story, “Cats on Trampolines” is totally going to be part of Fox’s fall lineup.
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USA Network shows always have an episode with a milf trying to get with the main character…
There’s no shame in wanting to bang Avril Lavigne, Uff. Oh, and “Katy got some big ole’ tit-tay’s.”
Even though it seems a little early for a “what’s on 2Nite” I’ll enjoy having this as the banner picture for the next day.
Katy Perry has crazy eyes and crazy boobs, she is hot. I hope her song “I Kissed A Girl” becomes a reality tonight and she makes out with Avril Lavigne.
I work in finance. Whenever I’m at a party or bar and someone asks me what I do, I say those four words and change the subject immediately. That way they know I have a job but also that I’m not up my own ass.
Who needs good weather to sit around and laugh at midgets all weekend?
I wish Katy stuck with her original “good girl sings Christian music” shtick. So much hotter than “I’m an annoying slut who is probably not really this much of a slut” thing. Tease me with it you whore!
I admit, I have watched “Little Couple” but it was out of morbid fascination, and not interest. You have yet to touch on my achilles heel which is either “What Not to Wear” or “Say Yes to the Dress”
White Collar also has the glitzy aspects of the financial world, such as fine art, nice cars, and tits, though.
Yeah, it’s hard coming to terms with being attracted to Avril Lavigne in any measure. There’s so much to hate about her, and yet…
Katy Perry has been ruined for me by Russell Brand. It’s like Angelina with Billy Bob and Carmen Electra with Rodman. Once they’ve been there, I’m out.
Cats on Trampolines would bore me. America’s Best Cats on Trampolines, however, would be appointment viewing.
USA needs to bring back “Up All Night”. Ah, Rhonda Shear…now those were some 80′s banana tits that you could set your watch to.
The first four shows listed would make for one interesting fetish if put all together.
“annoying vs. cleavage” – you just described every relationship I’ve ever had.
Enrico, I celebrated puberty every Friday night watching Up All Night. Then my penis shriveled up and my balls ascended Saturday nights when Gilbert Gottfried hosted.
Avril Lavigne always strikes me as the kind of girl who just wouldn’t get the joke. Any joke.
i’d put my peter in randy’s face. i mean katy’s boobs. that’s how guys and girls have sex right? penis in the boobs?
@AEVC: She’d get my joke all right, in fact the joke would be on her.
“The Joke” being my wife’s pet name for my penis.
The phrase “hate fuck” was INVENTED for Avril Levine. No idea why I find her so hot, but … damn.
Katy and Avril have the absolute best racks in all of music, so long as we’re clear that Dolly Parton is in no way human.
In a related story, I got written up at work today for lapping at the monitor.
Now, Mr Ufford, where did we leave off last session…?
Ah, yes. You were saying your intention do “do things” to Avril Lavigne is based upon feelings you had when she was fifteen. That’s very interesting, please elaborate.
And also: did you know that “Avril Lavigne” is an anagram for “Vaginal Liver”?
Lavigne wore a hooded sweatshirt last, showing no cleavage. Total bitch move. Katy Perry picked out a nice dress.
As god as my witness, I would slaughter each and every one of you for a chance to bury my face in Katy Perry’s glorious milky mountains.
Katy Perry made Not Paula look like a hulking man.
I just want to say, I’ll miss Better Off Ted. Last night’s “Veronica fawn” scene was an absolute masterpiece of writing and acting.