Cancel the romantic dinner plans you didn’t make with your girlfriend who doesn’t exist, because there’s only one thing you should be doing this Valentine’s Day: watching “Tyrannosaurus Sex” on Discovery Channel:
This Valentine’s Day, February 14th at 10pm ET/PT on Discovery Channel, Locomotive Entertainment Group will premiere Tyrannosaurus Sex. The one-hour special explores the mysteries, wonders and newest evidence surrounding ritual courtship and mating habits of dinosaurs. How did a ferocious T-Rex woo his lady? [beach picnic at sunset, duh - Ed.] How did a female Titanosaur support the weight of a male who was as long as a four-story building is high? How did a Stegosaurus couple negotiate sex with all those deadly plates and spikes?
Very carefully! Wokka wokka wokka!
Tyrannosaurus Sex doesn’t just answer the questions, it shows dinosaur sex in all its glory with state-of-the-art CGI animation.
Oh man, I can’t wait. I haven’t seen dinosaurs get it on since the late ’80s, when I got all the Dinobot Transformers for Christmas. Although technically, I guess that was dinosaur robot sex. Which I hear is all the rage in Japan right now.
[via The Awl, thanks to Matt M. for the tip]
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That might be your best/worst Photoshop comp ever. Golf claps.
“Tyrannosaurus Sex” sounds like a hat that Frank would wear on 30 Rock.
Those Triceratops were so horny!
The best part of that Photoshop is that the male Tyrannosaurus didn’t put his wine glass down while boning.
Well, I know what I’ll be watching alone, naked and by myself on Valentine’s Day.
Velocirapetors took sex by force.
The herbivores died out because they couldn’t remember that they needed to procreate.
The female Tyranno-sore-ass hopes her boyfriend enjoyed last night, because she will NOT be doing that again.
How are they gonna clean all the sand out of their junk with those tiny arms?
Know how I can tell that those dinosaurs aren’t married? They’re having sex.
@ Chino
Know how I can tell they’re not married? The Bible denies their existence.
Ankylosauruses always used protection
Pachycephalosauruses always gave good head
Know how else I can tell they’re not married? She’s not crying.
Wait, wait, wait. It’s possible that I may be mistaken. They might just be married.
/I see no evidence of any oral
If one of these dinosaurs skeeted into some tree sap, we could have Jurassic Park for real.
No way they’re married. How could she make him sandwiches with arms that small?
You have a point there. Also, they must not be married because she’s actually awake!
I bet the dinosaurs had sex just like we do. Starts out clumsy, moves on to awkward and ends with you curled up in the fetal position, laying in the wet spot.
I call bullshit on this. How were they having sex when Rohypnol hadn’t even been invented yet??
Also, how can you have sex when there’s no clock to watch?
Is there any part of Dave Attell’s act that we haven’t covered yet
What are you talking about?
Ummm, didn’t dinosaurs have eggs? Do egg-laying animals even have sex? (or is it all moneyshot onto the eggs?)
There’s so much I don’t know about prehistoric animal husbandry.
Alright, calm down, Chino…if that is your real name, Elaine Boosler!
I am calm! And it’s Chino Boozler…
Because I drink a lot, you see.
They’re married. That’s why there has to be wine involved.
“Titanosaur” Tee hee.
For all the gay paleontologists out there:
Triceratops? More like tricerabottoms! Hey-o!
Tyrannosauraus Sex – only slightly more consentual than pteradactyl rape.
What is sad is that just the other day I was wondering about how dinosaurs had sex. Because I lead a sad and pathetic life.
Now Discovery Channel is going to make my dreams a reality.