Get your mind of the gutter, it’s fondue.
As much as I enjoy the faux-bombast of Stephen Colbert’s conservative talking head character, my favorite segments from Colbert are when he abandons politics and focuses on being an entertainer (see also: his duet with Alicia Keys). That’s the case with last night’s report from Vancouver, in which Colbert went to different international houses to mess with Switzerland (“Nothing would be more entertaining than a Swiss person attacking an American”), Russia (“Where can I find black-market uranium?”), and Ireland, which included my favorite exchange:
Colbert, at the Olympic Irish House: “Are there any Irish people here tonight?”
Colbert: “Who wants to celebrate Irish culture?”
Colbert: “All right! Ulysses, by James Joyce. Chapter One. ‘Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed…’”
The full video is lengthy but well worth it, much like my dong. You can see it below — which is something I’ve also said about my dong. But that’s enough of my dong (which is what the judge said about me going to the playground).