Alicia Guastaferro, an 18-year-old beauty pageant contestant who was featured on ABC’s “Wife Swap” with her shallow parents, is suing the network for $100 million. In preposterous number form, that’s 100,000,000 American dollars. From the New York Daily News:
[Guastaferro] says she has panic attacks and suicidal tendencies because of her 2008 appearance, in which she memorably berated her mom and sniffed, “I do feel sorry for people that are not gorgeous people.” The suit accuses ABC and parent company Walt Disney of staging scenes to “maximize [Guastaferro's] public embarrassment.”
The show… made Guastaferro the object of ridicule among her western New York peers and forced her to transfer schools, the suit claims.
No, I think it’s safe to say Guastaferro made Guastaferro the ridicule of her peers. Keep reading for more ridiculousness, plus the jaw-dropping clip of the show that features her awful, awful family.
In a clip from her episode, Guastaferro was introduced as the “princess of pageantry” as pictures flashed of her in a tiara and pageant gowns. ”If you don’t have the best clothes, the best hair and makeup and the best tan, you’re not gonna win the pageant,” she haughtily said in a trophy-filled room.
The suit says producers ordered Guastaferro to “act a little more spoiled” and staged scenes, including one in which her dad spray-tans her legs. They allegedly even manufactured scenes to make her look bratty, highlighting how her mom supposedly does her homework… Guastaferro claims she has gotten death threats and been assaulted, and went from the honor roll to being a special-ed student after the show aired. [But her mom didn't really do her homework! - Ed.]
How are these people even intelligent enough to dial a phone and find a lawyer? “HURRRRRR, I didden knowed that the reality show people would SHOW what I done on the TV!”
Oh, and there’s this little nugget from PopEater:
Another motive for the lawsuit may be the financial woes of the family.
Last November, Ralph and Karen Guastaferro pleaded guilty to felony money laundering charges stemming from a Canadian telemarketing scheme. Karen is also in hot water for not declaring wages at the family’s glass-tinting business. According to a Buffalo News report, she faces up to 16 months in jail, while he could spend up to 57 months behind bars.
I like that. Jail for the parents, and whatever happens to Alicia happens. A new career as a stripper, suicide, Overboard-style hijinks in which she learns humility — all of its better than who she is now. Although I do agree with her on the feeling sorry for not-gorgeous people thing.
I want more like this!
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