You know what? That was a pretty solid Academy Awards last night. Kathryn Bigelow and The Hurt Locker got the accolades they deserve, Avatar didn’t win anything it shouldn’t have, Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin had the clout to poke fun at Hollywood, there was a nice John Hughes tribute, and only once did I have to say “Shut up, Sean Penn.” I can’t even hate Sandra Bullock winning for The Blind Side after she picked up her Razzie in person and said that she’ll display it next to her Oscar (also, she and Bigelow were the only winners who recognized the other nominees in their acceptance speeches).
The only thing that bothered me about the night was finishing second in my Oscar pool by a single pick. I nailed the telecast’s end time by calling 12:02 a.m., so I would have won the tie-breaker if I’d gotten one more pick correct. DAMN YOU, DOCUMENTARY SHORT! How was I supposed to know one of the choices was about a handicapped African girl?
(Most images via bohemea. Bonus GIF action of Samuel L. Jackson reacting to Mo’Nique below.)
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Did you notice they left Farrah Fawcett out of the deaths montage? Why do they always forget people?
They left out Brad Renfro last year as well.
“Mo’Nique is so ugly, I wouldn’t fuck her even if she was Less’Nique.”
- Samuel L. Jackson’s face
That one chick from “Precious” deserved some sort of award. She stayed in character all the way through the whole awards show. That fat suit must have been really uncomfortable. *whispers* What? Really? Jesus Christ.
I thought it was downhill after NPH’s opener. But then I saw the Christina Hendricks photos, and now I say Best Oscars Evar.
My roommate was watching the “after party” crap on E! after the awards and they had a press conference with Mo’nique where she revealed herself to be a complete and total bitch. I was like, “wow, she’s a real cunt huh?”
So who did you lose to, Birthday Dog or Spaghetti Cat?
Worst directed Oscars ever. It was like they gave a kid with ADD the control room and told the cameramen to try and pick up as many awkward moments as they could.
Correct me if I’m wrong but Mo’Nique has to be the fattest (and hairiest) woman to ever win a an Oscar.
Hated the telecast, but Kathryn Bigelow has officially replaced Helen Mirren as the chick over 55 that I most want to bang.
Last night Cuba Gooding Jr. and Adrien Brody welcomed Mo’nique into the “It’s all downhill from here” club.
So we’re all just going to agree never to talk about the sassy dance-off routine for the Best Score nominees? Not even the part when Turbo and Ozone busted some epic moves to the “Hurt Locker” theme?
Yeah, that’s probably the right call.
I saw Hurt Locker and was disappointed. Tarantino clearly made the better film.
Not to mention all the glaring omissions in the dead guy montage (Bea Arthur? Farah Fawcett? Henry Gibson?) and their glossing over the greatest actor from the classic movie Red Dawn – Mr. Patrick Swayze.
“Correct me if I’m wrong but Mo’Nique has to be the fattest (and hairiest) woman to ever win a an Oscar.”
She’s up there with Kathy Bates and Robin Williams
I’m a Tarantino apologist (my dog’s name is Quentin), but I haven’t understood all the love for Inglourious Basterds. It’s a fantastic screenplay and has two great scenes – the farmhouse and the bar – but the rest of the movie just didn’t work for me. I think the melody of QT’s dialogue loses quite a bit when it’s not in English.
And seriously, I want Kathryn Bigelow on my dick right now.
“Hated the telecast, but Kathryn Bigelow has officially replaced Helen Mirren as the chick over 55 that I most want to bang.”
Apparently James Cameron dumped her for an anorexic ghost. Good call Jimmy.
@Otto: I have never been so happy to have Tivo as when I heard the words ‘interpretaive dance.’
No way, CrabApple. Adrien Brody kicked ass in that one Diet Coke commercial.
Swayze was the first actor in the dead people tribute, they hadn’t cut to the big screen yet.
At least someone called the Amber Lamps for the show.
I may have been drunk but did I hear Alec Baldwin call Sarah Jessica Parker a clotheshorse?