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WAY TO MASTURBATE, MASTURBATORS

Written by Matt Ufford / 03.03.10

wii-curling

Morning news shows always need the right amount of light-hearted fluff, because people are angriest when they first wake up or when their husband first leaves them with the kids all damn day. In Australia, someone at the Nine Network thought “Today” hosts Karl Stefanovic and Lisa Wilkinson should capitalize on the popularity of curling at the Olympics by playing some Wii curling (see video below). Except the thing is, well, if you replace the broom with a Wii controller, twelve-year-olds like me can’t help but notice that it looks like they’re furiously masturbating (which is generally the best way to masturbate, IMHO).

Anyway, this reminds me: I really want to date a curler. A female curler, I mean. Oh, who am I kidding? I’ll take what I can get.

[Best Week Ever]

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13 comments
Matt Ufford posted

"WAY TO MASTURBATE, MASTURBATORS"

  1. 03.03.10 at 10:01 am
    Erswi

    Lady host looks like she can really shine a knob.

    So does the guy :(

    Fag.

  2. 03.03.10 at 10:05 am
    Matt

    34 Centigrade in Sydney = 93 degrees F.

    /books plane ticket

  3. 03.03.10 at 10:06 am
    Leapin_Lizards

    Joe Buck thinks curling is a disgusting sport.

  4. 03.03.10 at 10:08 am
    wehavehair

    The Shake Weight senses a marketing tie-in opportunity.

  5. 03.03.10 at 10:36 am
    Duke

    I would soooooo love to watch Ann Curry do that…

    /masturbates furiously

  6. 03.03.10 at 10:48 am
    Danger Guerrero

    Looks like these two didn’t read the KSK mailbag last week. Loosen your grip and pump slowly, people.

  7. 03.03.10 at 10:52 am
    Rebecca

    And there was that pregnant lady who was backup on the Canadian curling team. Uff can fulfill two fantasies in one.

  8. 03.03.10 at 10:59 am
    Enrico Pallazzo

    I prefer to masturbate curiously. It’s better when you are not sure about yourself but want to learn more anyway. And then you shoot a load in your eye.

  9. 03.03.10 at 11:18 am
    Zack

    My preferred method is to masturbate spuriously (i.e. making the dismissive wanking motion).

  10. 03.03.10 at 11:31 am
    Rebecca

    I masturbate injuriously. With a tackhammer.

  11. 03.03.10 at 1:54 pm
    Strange Botwin

    I masturbate using hyperbole, with my 14 inch penis.

  12. 03.03.10 at 1:58 pm
    yeayeayea

    sports soup on versus aired this last night. hilarious

  13. 03.03.10 at 2:56 pm
    Dr. Egon Spengler

    “Is this video going to come back to haunt us?” Haha, only if YouTube exists…

    Oh, it does. Yea, you’re fucked

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