I THINK HE PLAYED IT OFF WELL
READING RAINBOW: THE NEXT GENERATION

WHAT’S ON 2NITE: HOT BODIES IN SEQUINS

Written by Matt Ufford / 03.22.10

dwts-shannen-hed

Dancing with the Stars (ABC) — Season premiere. The show released a whole bunch of promotional pictures, and the ones that looked interesting in thumbnail form are in the gallery below. I would like to wear Cheryl Burke as a hat.

Nurse Jackie (Showtime) — Season premiere. Edie Falco seems like a cool person to get drunk and watch porn with.

United States of Tara (Showtime) — Season premiere. Word on the street is that it’s a lot better this season.

Two and a Half Men (CBS) — You know, Tricia Helfer in a guest starring role is almost enough to make me watch.

Chuck (NBC) —  Spies in movies never actually call themselves spies; they’re always “agents” or some other term. And yet half the dialog on this show is Chuck talking about wanting to be a spy. That always bothers me.

Castle (ABC) — Dana Delany begins a two-episode guest starring role. I say that like people actually care about Dana Delany.

Rare Anatomy (NatGeo) — “You know those vaginas that are, like, double vaginas?”

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19 comments
Matt Ufford posted

"WHAT’S ON 2NITE: HOT BODIES IN SEQUINS"

  1. 03.22.10 at 5:01 pm
    Stonecutter

    I care about Dana Delaney. At least 20% of the reason I joined the Air Force was to meet a nurse as hot as McMurphy. Shot myself 14 times. Each time was less painful than watching three minutes of Desperate Housewives.

  2. 03.22.10 at 5:04 pm
    donturtuccio

    which one is cheryl burke?

  3. 03.22.10 at 5:09 pm
    bluemidget_1

    I hope Erin Andrew’s dance partner is a curling iron

  4. 03.22.10 at 5:13 pm
    Matt

    +1 bluemidget

    @donturtuccio: Burke is Ochocinco’s partner.

  5. 03.22.10 at 5:14 pm
    La Schmoove

    Cheryl Burke is the hot, curvy sack of sex who gets called fat by jealous women and gay men. People, if you don’t like big titties and ass, you hate America!

  6. 03.22.10 at 5:19 pm
    Strange Botwin

    Dammit, does this mean that the hot mormon that does those acne commercials isn’t on this season? Now I’m REALLY not going to watch.

  7. 03.22.10 at 5:32 pm
    Joe E TaTa

    Shannon Daugherty has always creeped me out. Her left eye is like a whole inch higher on her face than the right eye.

  8. 03.22.10 at 5:41 pm
    Enrico Pallazzo

    When did Shannen Doherty eat Joe E. Tata?

  9. 03.22.10 at 5:56 pm
    Smegga

    Is that a bad photo of Shannen or has she really let herself go? By which I mean she is looking less svelte as usual, not calling her fat.

    Matt, every time Chuck mentions spy stuff, just distract yourself by looking at Yvonne Strahovski. Works for me.

    Are there any cool gifs of the scene with Alison Brie from last week’s Community? I ask because my friend’s girlfriend’s best friend’s uncle’s daughter’s milkman’s son wants one.

  10. 03.22.10 at 6:01 pm
    Strange Botwin

    @smegga While I did not locate a .gif for the scene I assume your speaking of, I did locate this Alison Brie .gif which is a suitable replacement.

    [26.media.tumblr.com]

  11. 03.22.10 at 6:32 pm
    Farthammer

    Fuck that. I call Cheryl fat not because I am gay, but because I demand that famous women do cocaine and starve themselves for my amusement.

  12. 03.22.10 at 6:45 pm
    Tim Was Tim

    Keep that fire extinguisher handy because Shannen is hawttt!

  13. 03.22.10 at 6:51 pm
    Smegga

    Thanks Botwin, that will keep me happy until the pottery Brie emerges.

  14. 03.22.10 at 9:57 pm
    Shaun

    Yo dawg, I heard you like vaginas. So I put a vagina in your vagina.

  15. 03.22.10 at 10:16 pm
    donturtuccio

    [i40.tinypic.com]

    here it is… late as usual

  16. 03.23.10 at 12:42 am
    ChinoMoreno

    The double vagina link is making me want to go into another joke rage…

  17. 03.23.10 at 12:45 am
    ChinoMoreno

    …and no one wants that…

  18. 03.23.10 at 10:52 am
    Smegga

    Thanks Don! It’s captivating.

  19. 03.23.10 at 1:25 pm
    Hiro_Protagonist

    What about “Justified” I demand my new favorite show be acknowledged! (please?)

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